just random thoughts

first 🔮

So here I am. Again in this house. Again with these kind of people. Again left alone, watching them having fun. Again feeling sad.
No one needs me. No one cares about me. No one really pays attention to me. But I'll always be there for them. Always be a good listener for them.
Always help them if they need anything. It's getting difficult. Each day only the same shit. It's always me and my thoughts left and no one else. When I need a good listener, they turn away and they don't care.

When I need help with something, they don't even listen. When I feel alone and need support or motivation, there's no one that would do something like that to me.
That's too much to ask for. But I'm not forcing them. They can do what they want to do and I'm fine being alone.  I'm already used to it so it's nothing different or difficult.
I'll keep on fighting even tho I'm alone. I'll keep on giving my best even tho it's hard. I'll keep on smiling even tho it hurts sometimes. But that's just how it is. I need to deal with it.
It's going to be a hard way with a lot of stones and maybe even mountains to climb but I will do it if life asks me to do it. Life isn't so beautiful like you think. Life can be cruel.
Life can give you the best or give you the worst. It's not your decision. Or maybe you can decide for yourself but still life can give you the most unexpected things and maybe you'll get surprised by it or mad or sad.
But you can't change it. If it happens, it happens. The future is like an unwritten book. You can't say what's going to happen in the future.
Maybe some parts of tour life like a job or I don't know but every other things, you can't.

okay so.. I'm kinda nervous about it. That's mostly only for me :) I was just rambling and don't know if it even makes sense ..but okay whatever.