eleven ;)

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eleven.
had she been the girl who owned mikes heart?
surely not.
not this eleven.
there had to be millions of more girls with the same nickname.
mike just told y/n how much loved her,
this seemed nearly cruel.
he loves me.
i'm his girlfriend.
she reminded herself with a heavy heart,
watching the tension unfold before her.
mike and eleven steered clear of one another the rest of the night,
and it seemed as though eleven had just come to surprise the group.
and a surprise, it was.

she returned home that very night,
thankful that everyone in the house was asleep.
she climbed up to the messy room of hers,
and began to read the tattered pages of her familiar books.
this was home.
not mike,
not hawkins,
not the rest of the l/n's,
but these books.
they welcomed her with no strings attached,
and no heartbreak in the end.
just lovely, well strung together words.
but as she read the same words over and over again, she realized she couldn't focus.
every word she read somehow lead to mike,
lead to will,
lead to eleven.
what if mike replaced y/n?
what would she do then?
all that she grew to know,
grew to love,
would vanish right before her.
she couldn't do anything but allow this to happen to her.
allow mike to slip right out of her hands.
she laid awake that night,
with the boy on her mind.
but the thoughts were different this time.
they were worrisome.
and though against her better judgement,
they were entirely harsh.
"mike wheeler,"
she breathed out.
only this time,
his name sounded different out her mouth.
it sounded wrong.
like it wasn't hers to say anymore.
it was bitter.
because y/n was forced with the harsh truth:
mike wheeler was elevens then,
and mike wheeler if elevens now.
one of y/n's true friends in hawkins,
her first love,
was no longer hers to claim.
she hated to admit it now,
but she couldn't hide from the truth.
mike could possibly forget about y/n,
and mike could still love eleven.
the thought made y/n nauseous.
it made her head pound viciously.
she felt her heart break into a million pieces that night,
and she began to wonder if they'd ever be picked up again.
y/n buried her head into her pillow and allowed herself to scream into it until her throat was raw,
and her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen.
but it was worth it.
because y/n was back to who she was before mike.
she was numb again.
***
she tied her shoes to her feet,
tip toeing down the stairs to lessen the noise.
y/n made sure no family heard her.
and when she finally reassured herself,
she ran outside the door to the fresh air that awaited her.
she ran down to mikes house,
and she ran fast.
she allowed the anger,
the hurt,
the sadness,
fuel her every step.
she didn't bother to stop running.
she allowed herself to feel the pain in her diaphragm from the consistency.
and as she reached his house,
she leaned against the tree to catch her breath.
she slowly walked up to the boys door and allowed her knuckles to rap against his front door.
"hold on jane,"
mike spoke while opening the door,
oblivious to the girl on his front step.
y/n noticed he was shirtless,
and his lips were a deep red.
like they usually were when y/n kissed him.
swollen, too.
red and swollen.
her heart shattered at the connection.
"y/n?"
all the words got caught up in her throat.
she couldn't breathe anymore.
y/n saw the girl in the back,
but they both avoided eye contact.
their anger remained on mike.
"it's not what it looks like,"
he whispered,
closing the door to hide jane.
but it was too late.
y/n had seen enough.
"sorry to interrupt."
she turned on her feet and ignored his calls for her,
and she began running again.
but she found herself taking a different route.
she didn't return home,
only found herself on the lawn of will byers' house.
y/n knew she wasn't doing this out of spite.
she wasn't going to do anything with will that would hurt anyone.
she would never do that to either of them.
but she needed someone.
and she could no longer rely on mike.

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