The Room for Royalty

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"Down the hall to the left." Pepper said it with such simplicity. Because it should be simple. You know unless it's not. Because you are in a freaking tower with over 50 floors and probably over 400 rooms. And not a single stinking map. I lived in a one story, two bedroom house that was built in the 1920's. The newest thing in the house was me. And the hardest thing to find was my backpack that would get buried in my mess of a room.

Oh crap.

How was I going to find the refrigerator here?!

I groaned. Where was Pepper when I really needed her? Wait she said if I had any questions to ask... James? Harris? No it definitely started with a J. Hmmm. What the heck.

"Oh Johnny Boy!"

Nothing.

"James?"

Well what a shocker. Nothing again. That was too simple.

"Hey Jedikiah? Jedi?"

"Are you trying to get my attention Miss?"

What. The. Heck. Was. That. The little voice inside my head is real people. What the heck is happening?

"Miss? You seem to be experiencing an increased heart rate and if I had to make a hypothesis you seem anxious."

"Ok little voice in my head. Let's pretend like I'm not going insane right now." And that I'm not a perfect candidate for an insane asylum.

"I assure you, you do not qualify for an insane asylum." Okay let's pretend he didn't just basically read my mind cause I'm already creeped out enough. "I am not a voice inside your head. In fact I'm quite real in the figurative sense."

"You realize how contradictory that is right?"

"My name is JARVIS. Short for Just A Rather Very Intelligent System."

"Wait system?"

"Yes. I am an Artificial Intelligence system. An AI if you prefer."

"A bodiless entity."

"That seems like a suitable synonym, yes."

I grinned. I liked him. He freaked me out. But. I liked him.

"Sooooo would you possibly know how to get the kitchen?"

"Yes."

I waited but he didn't say anything more. Of course not.

"Well can you tell me?"

"It was my understanding you were trying to find your room, not the kitchen."

"Well yeah but now I'm hungry."

"To my knowledge you have a mini fridge in your room."

Holy. Cheese.

Actually no. I don't like Swiss cheese.

Haha get it?! Hol(e)y cheese. Swiss cheese has holes in it. You know what. Whatever. I love puns.

"Awesome! So where exactly is my room?"

"Turn around and it will be 3 doors down on your right."

Are you kidding me? I walked right past it. Why not. I turned around and stopped in front of the door. I don't know why but I hesitated in opening it. Maybe I was worried that this would officially start my new life. Or maybe I was afraid to open it and find a sparkly pink room. Like I said, I don't know. But apparently I hesitated a little too long because JARVIS decided to open his sassy little speaker mouth.

"The door handle is on your left a little above waist height. Simply twist the handle to open it. If you like, I can inform Mr. Stark that you would like an automatic door rather than a manual one."

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