Lover

The Mating Bond

Azriel:

Her gaze through the mirror in her room haunted my every step in the Dawn Court Manor. It didn't haunt me like how my shadows haunted my every waking step. No, it was a look that had me almost falling to my knees, begging her not to break me. The mating bond had been taut, extremely so and the golden glow threatened to take over my weary soul. It was filled with devastation, happiness, dread and passion.

A promise.

A promise that one day, I would be able to love her freely without the stifling weight of her departure on my shoulders - weighing me down. One day, we didn't know how, we would find a way to make this work. My shadows curled around me - reaching out for her, and purring when her violet glow of power caressed the glittering starlight. She could - would destroy me. But I knew it wouldn't be intentional, Bella could never intentionally hurt someone.

I stood close to her side as we walked into where the meeting was to take place - Bella lifted her chin, no smile on her face. But I knew her well enough to know she was a nervous wreck. Her stunning brown eyes were closed off, and I hated how emotionless she looked. No, not hated - I felt uneasy how natural it seemed for her to conceal everything she was feeling. I felt like in her pursuit to shut everyone off, she was cutting me off as well.

Ever since we had walked out of her room, her eyes had been quiet, not laughing or smiling like they always were. She had replied in curt responses, not intending to be rude or even to shut anyone off - because she was thinking. Thinking so hard about something that was so deep within her - it was as if it was a thriving lie. It was as if it was a monster that was living within her.

And it was so close to consuming Bella that - that I was afraid she would end up closing off completely. And I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that - I'd go insane trying to figure why. Bella was my mate, Bella was the girl I loved.

I knew I loved her the minute I handed her Truth-Teller, or perhaps I was falling in love with her long before I met her. Long before I knew she existed. I still have those dreams, dreams of long brown hair flowing down her back, a halo of sunlight streaming over the dark brown curtain, bringing out the undertones of red. A reflect of purple.

I would dream of wide brown eyes, framed with ebony lashes. Those eyes were what got me - the bright green in the cracks of the brown. You would have to look really closely to notice the background of green.

Then I would dream of her at school, then I would dream of her flipping through pages of a novel as if it took absolutely no effort to read them. To enjoy them. I had felt uneasy when I first started getting them, because I didn't know it was Bella. I didn't even know her - and I was angry for a bit, because it wasn't Mor. It would never be Mor. And I knew what those visions meant, vaugley. But I ignored it, because fuck I was still in love with Mor.

But the visions started to come more frequently, and I found myself enjoying them. Found myself cherishing them, because they were the only things that were making happy. The only things that I looked forward to. So when Rhys told me about Bella, I just knew it was her. So I forced him to let me go, seeing I was Spymaster.

And when I saw her for the first time. So innocent, unblemished, so beautiful and so pure - it had my knees buckling. Had me falling to the floor.

She had looked around at the thump, a frown on her beautiful, chubby face. But she just shrugged it off and grinned at her book, giving me a full view of those deep dimples. She had cut her hair to her shoulders, but I knew it was her. I knew just by looking at the color of her hair, her eyes, her complexion, her hands. It was her. And she had no idea how much my entire world had been flipped off it's axis. She had no idea that for once, I was understanding what Mor did. Understanding why she could never love me, and so I slowly moved on.