Just The Way We Are - Blackinnon

Chapter 10 - Secrets

Sirius pulled away breathlessly, wide eyes like a rabbit caught in headlights. He swallowed and kissed her temple lightly before returning to his position on the couch.

"I can't do the casual thing anymore," He admitted after a long while, his gaze lowered.

Marlene felt her heart thud rapidly in her chest while her subconscious screamed at her to reciprocate his words.

"Me neither." She agreed.

He looked up and smiled hopefully although his eyes held a sadness. If they did this, they was no going back. Losing her would kill him.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. Before all this."

"I thought you didn't want anything more. I thought you liked it just the way we are."

Sirius looked at her, his mouth formed into a hard line.

"Why do you think I refuse to sleep with anyone else? Why do you think it makes my blood boil when you mention another guy? There's something about you, Marls. I tried to push it to the back of my mind but fuck that. I've never needed anyone before but I need you."

Marlene shuffled closer to him, a small smile on her lips although a few tears were forming in her eyes. The mix of emotions were screwing with her and she hoped she didn't have to say anything for him to know that she felt the same way.

"Are you going to give us a chance?" He asked quietly, lips pressed against her hair.

"Yes. Of course." She murmured and was immediately pulled into his lap, met by eager lips.

They curled into one another although Sirius's grip was considerably looser than usual to ensure he wasn't hurting her. Marlene parted their lips after a long minute and laughed breathlessly.

"I never thought we would get to this point. It's bizarre and wonderful." She hummed, laying her head on his shoulder.

"I hoped we would." He chuckled as he toyed with her hair.

Sirius still looked troubled, however, and she was beginning to wonder if there was something else on his mind.

"Is something wrong?" Marlene asked tentatively, her eyebrows creasing.

He didn't reply for a long while. Of course he was hiding something. Something that definitely shouldn't have been hid from her, which made it all the more difficult to finally say. But now his subconscious was nagging at him relentlessly and he knew it was time to tell her.

"Marlene," Sirius begun quietly. "The healer found out something from your blood tests when you were in the hospital. I insisted she didn't tell you because it would freak you out after all the shit you just went through."

Marlene watched him as he spoke, eyes darkening. What the hell was wrong with her? 'Please don't tell me I'm dying of dragonpox', she pleaded to herself, although she would have preferred this option to the one he was going to tell her.