Halcyon ; Harry Potter [3]

Chapter Forty-Two

Dumbledore, Harry and Robyn appeared suddenly in Dumbledore's office. The portraits burst into applause as Dumbledore heaved himself into his chair.

Robyn, to distract herself from the looming darkness engulfing her brain, looked around Dumbledore's office. It had not changed one bit. Little unusual trinkets lay here, there and everywhere. The portraits stood tall and mighty upon the grey stone walls.

The perch in which Fawkes the Pheonix stood was still there with the magnificent bird standing on top of it, orange and yellow feathers gleaming in the candle light. And, of course, the pensieve still sat in the office, hidden by a cabinet full of more trinkets and memories Dumbledore had collected over the years.

Harry stood quite still next to Robyn, his eyes dull as tears ran numbly down his face.

"Harry, Robyn. You should know your friends are quite alright. Ms. Granger should fully recover." Dumbledore said, his voice grave.

Harry and Robyn nodded mutely.

Dumbledore's looked at Harry, sadness etched on to his ageing face. "There is no shame in what you are feeling."

Robyn, knowing that Dumbledore was going to address her later, sat down on one of the cushiony seats and stared at her knees.

In that moment, she could tell exactly what Harry was feeling; grief, exhaustion, sadness, anger... But she couldn't quite pinpoint what she was feeling.

So many emotions were running through her, she couldn't decide which one was worse. The sadness that Sirius was gone, the fear about the impending war, the terror of what would happen to her, the confusion of who kept putting her under these curses, the hatred she had for Voldemort and his followers but also the fear she had for them.

She thought back to the way Sirius looked when he fell through the veil. He was still grinning, that was good, she supposed. After all those years being locked away, Robyn knew Sirius would have been happy to leave this world doing something to help; to be fighting for what he believed in.

One thing that filled her body with guilt was when she remembered the glossed over eyes when Sirius fell, no light was left in them when Bellatrix had finished with him but the look in his eyes made Robyn think back to Cedric, they both had dull, staring eyes that would never see the light of day again. She could have done something to save them both. Maybe if she didn't freeze with fear and if she was quick enough, she could have stopped Wormtail casting the spell that lost Cedric his life. Maybe if Robyn turned around earlier than she did, she could of blocked the spell that Bellatrix sent hurtling towards her cousin.

If Robyn felt like this, she hated to think about how Harry was feeling...

Harry glowered at Dumbledore, warning him not to go there. "You don't know how I'm feeling!"

Dumbledore's face remained quite impassive but sadness was swimming in his blue eyes as he watched Harry practically breaking at the seams. "Harry, suffering like you are proves that you are still human. Pain is part of life."

Robyn looked up and stared at her boyfriend. She had never seen him like this. She had seen him angry, she had seen him sad, she had seen him happy but she had never seen him look so exhausted and depressed, it was as though a Dementor had come along and sucked out his soul, leaving only a shell of what used to be in its tracks.

"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled, his eyes staring angrily at Dumbledore. He was shaking with fury and sadness as tears continued to leak from his emerald eyes.

Harry could feel himself slipping away. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't carry on being the hero everyone thought he was. It was all too much. He couldn't handle it.