Decisions

I fell asleep?!?!?!?

My eyes open and I can see sunlight creeping in through the holes in the curtains. For a small moment, I don't think about anything. The events of yesterday haven't seemed to sink in yet. It takes me a couple of minutes to realise I'm not the only person in the room. Laying next to me is Brad. His skin glows as if it's made out of sunlight and his eyes flicker as if he's on the verge of waking up. If I'm being completely honest, I don't remember much of what happened last night. Everything happened so quickly and I was so tired.
I spend the next five minutes just staring at him. Kinda creepy I know but after all he's my hero. Without him I could be dead right now, or at the very least $2 million dollars poorer. His eyes flutter open and I immediately smile.
" good morning" he speaks softly.
"Morning" I reply, in a daze.
I sit up and rest my back on the headboard,
" listen Brad, I just wanted to say thank you again for what you did. I honestly don't know what I would have done if hadn't have showed up!"
His cheeks turn a radiant pink.
" it's okay! I would do anything for you." I look away. Feeling mildly disturbed thinking about how he has a wife. I meet his eyes again.
" oh and I'm sorry but I can't really remember what happened last night. Did we...?"
I pull a concerned face. He stares at me, looking hurt.
"We started making out and I asked if you wanted to, and you said yes" my brows furrow at this response. He continues,
" and just as we made it to the underwear stage, you fell asleep"
I stare in shock.
" I fell asleep?!" I ask again to make sure I heard him, correctly.
" yes" he reply's. Wow. I must have been really tired! I smile uncontrollably, relieved that I didn't make a huge mistake. His face looks disappointed and hurt at my reaction and I start to feel bad. I have to tell him the truth.
" look Brad. I'm so sorry if I misled you. But I just wanted to tell now that I have no feelings for you. Not like that."
"But last night..." I interrupt him before he can continue.
" I was tired and shaken up. I was caught up in the moment and frankly quite happy to be alive."
" ok. But that doesn't explain our kiss" he fires back. He's right, I can't explain that. My mind completely goes blank. I say the first thing that pops into my head. Not a wise choice.
" I thought you were Justin." I realise it's the lamest excuse ever and that there's no chance in hell that he's going to be believe me but there's nothing left to say. He knows how I feel.
" right. Well in that case, let's just pretend I'm Justin. After all I'm not supposed to be here. Let's just pretend you woke up next to Justin, all happy and in love!"
I try sympathise with him but I soon remind my self that he's the reason we broke up in the first place.
" ok." I say. He looks up, in shock.
" it was supposed to be him anyway. He was supposed to save me last night!" His eyes light up.
" well it wasn't was it?! I saved you! Me! The guy who actually cares about you and the one who doesn't leave you when things get tough!" Anger rushes inside me and I feel as though I'm about to explode.
" get out!" He just looks at me.
" GET OUT!" I scream at him. He jumps, startled.
" fine" He replies, removing himself from the bed. He rushes through the room and I wait to hear the front door slam shortly after.
He's gone.
Just like that.
Part of the anger is gone, but instead it is replaced with a large hole which feels as though part of my heart is missing.

I lay In my bed not wanting to move or worry or speak or think or... breathe.

I know it has been a long time since I have uploaded and I apologise for that. Hopefully the chapters will become more consistent. Hope you like this chapter and don't forget to leave a comment as I appreciate all feedback. Thanks for reading. Bye xxxx - S