Being a famous actress isn't perfect you know. If you make the wrong decision you get judged, if you make the right decision you get judged, it's a lose-lose situation really. And things have gone from good to bad for me, I have a lovely husband who...
If I had to list all of the things that have gone wrong in the past year, I would be here until Christmas. For starters; 1) Justin and I have had so many fights I can't actually remember a time in which we were happy. 2) Brad and I kissed. 3) I freaked out and told brad to leave, even though he's probably the only person who truly cares about me. 4) I haven't seen either Brad or Justin since last month 5) my marriage is falling apart 6) the movie that drove a wedge between me and Justin is starting filming next week 7)and to top it all of, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not over Brad. Like, at all.
I start my day the same way I have for all of this month, sleep deprived and stressed. I haven't been able to sleep in ages. All my thoughts run around my brain frantically, searching for answers to all these problems. Let's just face it, I'm a complete and utter mess right now. I drag myself out of bed and head into the empty kitchen. I get angrier every time I realise Justin isn't here. He was supposed to come back three weeks ago, but claims his contract got extended. Bullshit. I know the real reason he's not coming home. And so does he. After getting dressed, I walk into the kitchen to check the calendar. I freeze. My heart beating dangerously fast. THE MOVIE STARTS IN 2 DAYS. I start feeling panicked and it takes me a minute to regulate my breathing. I had no idea it was so soon. I haven't been on my phone since the night with Brad. I just had to get away from it all. That probably explains why my manager hasn't been in touch with me. I try and calm my self and call my manager. " oh thank goodness! There you are. I thought u were dead. Where have u been Jen." She asks frantically. " I might as well as be." I joke but at the same time actually kind of mean it. "I had to stay off my phone for a while sorry" I add sympathetically. "Okay... at least tell me you know your lines?" I gulp. Not wanting to lie, but also not wanting her to know that I'm a complete mess right now. "Umm..." I say nervously "Jen?!" She half screams. "Just kidding, of course I do!" I lie, worried I might send her into cardiac arrest if she knew I was completely unprepared. "Phew" She lets out a sigh of relief, making me feel even worse about lying. "Well, I'll see you Monday then" " ye, sure, see ya then" I reply fighting back the tears of pure stress. She hangs up and I'm left there by my self, like an emotionless doll. My body wishes it could crawl back into bed, but my mind wants to learn the lines, s already thinks I know. For a minute my mind goes blank and I fall into a trance. My mind wanders back to a time when I was happier, when things weren't as complicated. Back to when I was happily married to the love of my life, Brad. Um, I mean Justin, of course Justin. A part of me wants to hold on to Justin, and truly believes we could be okay again. But the other side, thinks that we have no chance in hell of making it. I have led myself to believe it was the movies fault that we grew apart, but I'm now realising, maybe it wasn't.
Maybe it's just us...
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(Brads p.o.v) It's been just under a month since I last spoke to Jen, and now I have to play her boyfriend. I have to pretend that everything is okay, but it's not. I'm a mess. She has probably moved on with her life, with Justin, but for some reason I just can't stop thinking about her. I miss her. The way she smells. The way she talks. The way she laughs at everything. Oh, her laugh. There isn't a laugh cuter. But it's not mine, she's not mine. She's Justin's and they're happy together. Why can't I just be happy for her? After all, I'm the one who screwed our marriage up, not Jen. I broke her heart, and now it's her turn to repay the favour...
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Seriously so sorry about how inactive I am. I'm going through a lot of things right now and just don't have enough time in the day! I just saw that I hit 3k reads and I'm honestly so grateful! Thank you so much for ready my story! I would like to say that I will become more active ( and I will try) but I can't make any promises. ;) Feel free to leave any comments about this chapter with any thoughts on it. I don't mind constructive criticism but pls don't be rude. Till next time, xoxo ~ S
