Broken Light

~ Chapter Three ~

I ring the doorbell to the old house in front of me. I fidget slowly with my fingers to waste some time and also to prevent my brain from having nostalgic thoughts. I knew this house by heart, maybe even better than my own. I had spent hours in there through my childhood with the only person who I ever considered as a friend. I could even say that I grew up in this place.

Even though the house is 20 years older than it was when I first came here, it still has the same small details that I so clearly knew by heart. The blue paint has slightly chipped away but the tiny deck by the entrance still has the same brown coffee table surrounded by five wooden chairs. The metallic set of swings that Alex and I spent countless hours on is still in the backyard with the giant red slide also beside it.

The door opens and I stand face to face with Mr. Clane, Alex's father. His curly white hair covers his eyes, hiding how puffy they truly were. His lips are dry and he looks a lot thinner than usual, making his veins clear through his pale skin.

"Mr. Clane," I say as I give him the flowers I bought from the florist down the street. "I'm so sorry." I feel dumb the moment the words come out of my mouth. Of course I'm sorry. I should be sorry that the person I'd known for so long and loved was in a coma, lying lifeless on a hospital bed. After knowing him for so long, I should say something more to help relieve the pain his parents must be feeling. But I can't. I can't quite put the turmoil inside of me into words and Alex's father seems to understand. He gives me the faintest hint of a smile and accepts the flowers. He stares at them for a long time as tears start to slide down his cheek. Yellow tulips, Alex's favourite. He had always been fascinated by how bright their colour was and talked nonstop about how, for whatever reason, they always gave him a glimmer of hope.

Mr. Clane invites me into the house and I accept his invitation, not knowing what else I could do. The inside isn't much different than 20 years ago either. I look at the wall to my left where the Clanes had developed a tradition of posting family photos every year. With Alex being the only child, they were always the only three in the photos. I take in each picture as if it is my first time looking at them. I look at young Alex and see him grow through the years. He had always been a cute child, with his big, blue eyes and jet black hair, and he grew more handsome after each year. Not only that, he also had a golden personality, one that everyone was aware of and deeply fond of. After all, he wasn't loved by everyone without a reason.

From the closest room to the entrance door, I hear a female's quiet weeping sounds. Mrs. Clane. I walk towards the room and hesitate when I see her fragile figure leaning by Alex's bed. She's hugging a picture of Alex in her hands and has her head resting on his suitcase. Tears flow out of her eyes and fall onto the carpet below.

Her eyes meet mine and I enter the room. She extends her hand towards me and I clasp it with both of mine as I kneel down beside her.

"Mrs. Clane, I'll make sure that the doctors do everything they can," I try my best to reassure her. "I promise you." Her tear-filled eyes look down and we sit in silence. I look around the room and see both the old and new belongings of Alex. I see his complete Harry Potter novel set that I borrowed from him a hundred times on his massive bookshelf. I see his photo albums on the side of his desk and his old lamp in the corner of the room. I look down at his suitcase and see his collection of ties neatly rolled and placed on the side.

And that's when I see it for the first time after all these years. The blue-knitted hat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sat down in the stranded classroom in the east wing of the third floor and knit away. I hated lunch. It wasn't that I didn't have anyone to hang around with, but there just weren't many people I could relate to. Sometimes hearing the stupid conversations my classmates had made my head ache. Honestly, who cares about how confusing the math tests are when there are more important things to worry about. Absolutely pathetic. There was me, who constantly worried about the next piece of bullshit his step-dad would dump on him and there were these students whose biggest worry was a single multiple-choice question. Three years into high school and nothing had changed.