Broken Light

~ Chapter Six ~

"Dad, can my cake be anything?" Jules asks, the excitement evident in his voice. He bounces up and down in his seat. "And what will I give my friends? They always give out goodie bags at the end of their birthday parties!" I shrug my shoulders.

"You can buy anything you want," I tell him as I park the car. Jules' birthday was a week away and he was already filled with joy, planning every minute of his party. Jules gets out of the car and runs towards the cake shop. It was a small, local shop, only a 10-minute ride away from us, but they were known to be one of the best in town. As a young kid, I'd always been one of their biggest fans.

We enter the shop and the sweet smell of pastries fills my nose. Memories from my childhood fill my head. My favourite from the shop had always been the coconut cream pie. In elementary school, I'd gotten to a point where I had one of their pies at least once every week. They were that delicious!

"Dad!" Jules yells from the other side of the shop. "What's this one?" He has his head leaning against the display window as he stares at all the cakes and pastries. His tiny finger points at one of the pastries on display while his mouth is wide open as if imagining its delicious taste. I follow his finger and smile when I see what he's pointing at.

"An apple dumpling," I tell him. "And I've been told they're delicious."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I walked into the cake shop with Renee right behind me. We had 30 minutes before our weekly therapy session with the one and only Mr. Johnson. Even thinking about it made me want to cry in pain.

"Have you been here before?" I asked Renee. She looked around the shop and shook her head.

"Not that I remember." She picked up each and every item in her way and examined all the words covering them, her eyes mostly lingering on the nutritional values and ingredients.

"Well, you have no idea what you're missing out on," I told her, trying my best to pull her out of whatever crazy world she was getting herself into. "I'm getting the coconut cream pie, an all-time favourite. Trust me, you won't regret buying it."

"Maybe another time," she said as she put the box of cookies in her hands down. "I forgot to bring money."

"Alrighty. We can just share the pie together." She made a face the moment the words came out of my mouth.

"Um, thanks but no thanks," she said with a slight chuckle. "I've never been a big fan. I mean, why would I be when apple dumplings exist? They're delicious." She shook her head and headed for the door. I held onto her arm.

"You know I can buy the apple dumpling for you. It's cheap." I had never seen Renee's eyes grow so wide. She shook her head quickly, her face determined on what she wanted, or in this case, what she didn't want.

"Buy me an apple dumpling and I'll shove it into your face right after I dump the coconut cream pie on your head," she said with a sly smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes. "The choice is yours." She turned to exit the shop, but right before she left, I saw it again in her eyes; the pain.

I grabbed a coconut cream pie off the counter, gave $5 to the cashier, and raced after Renee, not even caring about my change. The moment I came out the door, Renee started to walk and I followed after her.

We walked in silence, not saying a single word, which was quite rare for us. We always had something to talk or complain about, whether it was a big problem in our lives, the next-upcoming project, or the stupid pricks at our school. I tried to think of something to talk about but found it especially hard. Thankfully, Renee finally broke the awkward silence.

"You know, Tristan," she said with her eyes staring off into the distance. "You always got to do what's best for you in life. Never think about other people when you're on the line yourself. Just do what you gotta do. That's how you'll get anywhere in this world." She met my eyes for the first time since leaving the cake shop and for the thousandth time, I saw the tornado of emotions within her.

"Remember that."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You were right, Dad," Jules says as he takes another bite of the apple dumpling. "They are delicious." I smile as I watch him gulp down the pastry. After an hour of looking at different cake designs, Jules finally decided to go with the soccer ball cake. The most ironic part; he doesn't even like soccer.

"So, you'll pick up my cake on the day?" Jules asks. I nod confidently.

"Of course I'll pick up your cake," I tell him. "Didn't expect you to pick that design though." He shrugs.

"Well, all my friends absolutely love soccer so I thought I might as well order a soccer ball." At this exact moment, he reminded me too much of who I was when I was young, always trying to fit in but never being successful by the end. It was a harsh cycle of always trying and never getting anywhere and the funniest thing is that, for such a long time, I never gave up on trying. So stupid of me.

I shuffle Jules' hair and bend down to be at his eye level. "Jules, let me tell you one thing; never do something only because it'll impress the people around you. That's not how life should work, okay? You always need to do what's best for you." I smile at him. "You gotta do what you gotta do. Remember that."