Broken Light

~ Chapter Fifteen ~

I hear the sound of the TV when I enter the house. It's been a long time since anyone actually turned the thing on and I'm slightly surprised at its ability to still function.

I decide to keep away from the living room and go straight to the kitchen. I don't think I'd help anyone by bringing myself to their presence. Plus, I was starving, and my brain's ability to handle life turns even worse when I haven't eaten in a long time.

I keep quiet, making sure to not make a single sound in the process. I'm almost there, almost to the kitchen when I hear it. My voice. My laugh.

I can't stop my curiosity and I go to the living room right away. Lexie is on the couch, crying. Her eyes are red and puffy and she doesn't even take them off the TV to look at me. I move towards the couch to see what she could possibly be watching. There were a number of possibilities going through my head. We had a lot of recordings of when Jules was young. Lexie had always wanted to record every moment of his life, having thought ahead to how special they'd be to look back on in the future.

I was expecting a recording of one of his early birthdays, maybe his first one. But I'm shocked to see the one recording she picked out of the thousand possibilities.

It's the recording of our wedding.

We're sitting at a long table covered with delicious food, hand in hand. I don't look that much different from now, but I sure was a lot better at hiding my pain; hiding my feelings. Even though I clearly remember the thousand emotions that went through my head back then, my face displays none of it. All I showed was a happy man who was feeling ecstatic beside his newly-wed wife.

At our wedding, Lexie was 4 months pregnant. Every time she stood up, you could clearly see the bump of her belly. She looks happy. Even though I knew she was worried out of her mind, she looks happy in the moment, happy beside me. And I see the hope. I see the hope she has in the future, in us, and it completely breaks my heart.

The camera shifts away from me and Lexie and instead focusses on the podium where Alex is standing, my best man. I come close to crying when I see him and his bright smile. The memories of his lifeless body lying on the hospital bed, all bruised and injured, once again flood right into my head.

"Uh hello," Alex starts a bit awkwardly. "Hi everyone. I hope you've all been enjoying your time at the wedding, I know I have! And I know you all probably want to go back to eating the delicious cake Lexie and Tanny picked out for us, but I have a rather important speech to make and I couldn't wait any longer to say it." This earns a few chuckles from the crowd. I swallow hard as I remember every single word that is about to come out of Alex's mouth.

"Well," Alex claps his hands together once he has everyone's attention. "I'm guessing you all probably know Tan-uh-Tristan over there. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here to begin with. But I can still confidently bet that more than half of you don't really know who that amazing man over there truly is." Silence fills the church as Alex makes his way off the podium and towards me and Lexie.

"Tanny, do you mind standing?" I oblige as Alex had requested. Looking back at it now, I'm amazed at my legs' ability to even hold me together.

"Alright, now that you can all see the delightful person I've been talking about for the last minute or so, we can actually begin.

You know that one person who's always there when you need them? You know that one person who never fails to support you? And you know that one person who never takes credit for all the great things they do for you? Well, everyone, that one person has always been Tristan, Tanny as I like to call him.

Never in my entire life have I seen him let down a person. Never. It's impossible for him. Just like it's impossible for him to throw a football farther than 3 yards!"

Again, a few people from the crowd laugh.

"I first met Tanny when I was ten. Exactly fourteen years ago. We started just as all other friends do, playing together and sitting beside each other in class. But overtime, we grew up to be more than just friends. We became so much more! By the end of seventh grade, Tanny had become the brother I had always wished for. The brother who kept me organized in life and out of any trouble. Trust me, without him, I would have never gotten anywhere in this world other than to the principal's office for detention.

"And I guess it was this god-damn personality- and of course his irresistibly handsome face- that got him to score an angel like Lexie." Alex motions for Lexie to stand up, and with a red, blushing face, Lexie stands up, trying hard to find an angle that wouldn't bring too much attention to her pregnant belly.

"And don't get me wrong, before this handsome lad and the beautiful angel over there met each other, they were wonderful to begin with. They were the type of people you wanted to be with. The type of people you'd want to have as a part of your entire life. But once they got together, you had the most dynamic couple this world has ever seen! They're that one perfect couple you see in the movies. That one couple you always look up to. The only difference: they're actually real. They're living proof that love exists! They were made for each other. Made to compliment each other's flaws and strengths! And I'm just glad that I'm able to have both of them as a part of my life, just as you should all be.

And Lexie, Tanny, let me tell you that I wish you all the best. You've both been there for me through my ups and downs, and nothing I'll ever do will be able to repay for that. You've given me time when I needed it and gave me the patience and trust I never truly deserved. So thank you. Thank you for everything you've done. And I hope you know that I'll forever and always love you both to the end, even in the afterlife, whatever that'll be."

Alex gives a warm smile and raises his glass. "So now, everyone, join me in giving cheers to the new Mr. & Mrs. Sillan!"

Lexie pauses the video, unable to watch any longer, and cries. With each passing second, I take a step towards the couch, wanting to see how she would react first before I make any other moves. I sit down beside her and take both her tiny hands in mine, drawing open circles on them with my thumb. I bring her head towards my chest as she cries, combing her hair with my fingers in the process. She doesn't react. She doesn't move. She does nothing as I comfort her, almost as if I'm invisible. She's lifeless in her own way after losing all the hope she had held onto for all these years.

We stay like that for a few minutes, not knowing what else to do, not knowing how to fix things. Well, the truth is, I know what I need to do. I know what needs to be done.

I just need to do it.