Changing | SM

Part 16: opened up

Shawn:

Hours went by and I'm still over at Adriana's. She's still busy helping me with the last section of the topic in math but it's Greek.
I  don't get it at all.

"It's useless Adriana. I don't get this!" I groaned, standing up and throwing the pencil across her room. "Hey! I'm not giving up on you so don't you dare give up on yourself." She stood up and walked over to me.
I sighed hard, falling down on her bed.

"Shawn what's going on? What was today all about?" Should I tell her? No. Yes? Ugh, I don't know. "Can I trust you?" I asked, sitting up again, lookig in to her eyes.
She nodded, with hesitation, but sat down next to me anyway.
Ready to listen.

"Okay so as you know I have a shit reputation. But I'm really not who you think I am." Her eyes grew big. "I know that." She said softly, making my eyebrows furrow together. "What do you mean?" She turned to face me more and I saw a small, sweet smile playing on her lips.

"I can see the difference you know. The way you are at school and the way you are when you're, well, around me is two completely different people. You're not who you claim you are, there's someone deeper to you. You just don't show that side." My heartbeat raised.
The way she analyzes me, seeing the front I put up.
Nobody ever saw that, nobody ever said that.

I looked down at my hands in my lap, still feeling her gaze on me. "So about today then? Where you trying to show me a side of you?" I slowly nodded. "For some unexplainable reason, I feel like I can trust you Adriana. And that really pisses me off." She laughed at my statement, making me smile as I saw her beauty.

Wait-what!
No.
I can't just get her and then break her. It's not my way.

"Well I'm sorry that I rushed past that. I didn't realize it was part of the puzzle." She said, placing her hand on my shoulder. My cheeks started burning at her touch.
She feels like an angel.

"Now can we solve that problem or will you let it get you down?" She asked, making me look up at her as she stood up and walked back over to her desk. "Let's kill him." I stood up and sat down next to her, trying to solve the problem again.

"That's not right, sorry." She said, and I tried again. I'm tired of trying, but I know if I stop now Adriana will just yell at me. "If this isn't right I swear I'm giving up on life." I fell back in my chair and allowed her to take a look at the problem.
"Oh my god! You grew a brain!" She laughed, looking back at me. "You're joking!" My eyes grew big as I sat back up and looked at the problem. "It's correct. And that's the hardest problem of the worksheet." She laughed, clapping her hands together before giving me a high five.

For that moment, as we laughed together, our eyes locked on each other's and the laughter died down after a while.
It was just us in that moment.
And it scared me. She's too good for me.

"Do you want to give me another one?" She shook her head. "No, I think we can do the rest tomorrow. You can go home if you want to." She stood up, and I turned around in the chair. "If I want to? That's a first, usually you kick me out after an hour, especially after I mock you for staying over for dinner." "I know. But you opened up to me. It's improvement." Those words terrified me.
I never did that, only now I realized that I actually told her a piece of me.
Something only Brian usually knows.

"I have to go." I grabbed my things, throwing them in my bag and walking out. "Oh, okay. Bye." She said, sounding a bit sad at my sudden disappearance, but I can't stay longer.
I have to leave other wise who knows what I'll tell her more.

"Stupid." I said to myself as I walked to my car, driving off and going home.