Changing | SM

Part 23: showing

Adriana:

The way he is so intrigued in my life, wanting to know my past and my story about what I've seen in life, what I've experienced and everything... it scares me.
I never thought that having to give class to the dumbass in the back of my class would end up being the one person I can't let go. He's not letting me go, he wants to know.
Every last detail there is about me.

What makes me... me.

"Why do you care?" His eyes locked on mine as he looked back up to me. "Because for some annoying reason, which I'm still unsure of, you keep me locked in attention. I want to know you. But not who you are now, I want to know you for who you really are. Who you were." He finished up on his food, but I just looked at him.

Should I?

Is this all just a trap he's setting up, to get me in and capture me in his so called care and love, just for me to find out it's all a trap when he leaves me heartbroken and sad.
All over again.
I crossed my arms over my chest, looking at him. Almost a glare, as I tried to examine his body language towards me.

There's none.

Meaning he's either really good at hiding his guilt, lies and abstract behavior, or this is real and he really wants to know. "Well then." I stood up, walking to the door. "Where are you going?" I smiled as I turned around to see him standing up and walking up to me. "You want to know... so let's go." For some reason I held my hand out to him.

Obviously I used the excuse that it's raining and we should run.
But at the same time, I just wanted an excuse to feel the closure of another broken soul.
Like me.

Something about it just felt right, in a way it felt so wrong. I took in a deep breath before we started running towards my house. "Be quite okay. And stay here." I said as we walked in behind the back of the house to the backyard.

Shawn was still holding on to my hand, but I didn't mind it by now. I'm too stressed about Keegan seeing me and calling me out about not being at school.
It's his fault though.
I grabbed a small rock from the garden and we ran off again.

"Why did you take a rock?" "You'll see." We had to yell over the hard sound of pouring rain, crashing down on the road and pools of water building up on the sidewalk.
"I know it's raining but before we go any further I need you to promise me that whatever we do from here on stays between us. And I mean that. Shawn, I never let anyone further than this point and let them in this deep. So you need to promise me, and I mean really promise me that you won't tell anyone. Okay?" I said loudly.

He looked at me with his eyes squinted.
He hesitated for a moment, but I want to let him in. For some weird reason he's showing me side of him, so it's only fair to return the favor.
But is it really favor?
Showing him my bad side?

I grabbed his hand again and pulled him with me to the train station.

Hide away number one.