Love Lessons (Marina Diamandis)

Chapter Twelve

– One month later –

4 weeks were enough to turn the daily video chats into one minute phone calls and at the same time turn these phone calls to texts.

30 days were what it took for us to fall apart. I tried to understand, I tried to be strong, and I tried to be brave... But I only was those things when I was with her.

I miss her more than ever. My life has become unbearable without her. She wasn't here for my graduation, or for prom night. She had promised to go with me. I didn't go either.

For what she's told me, her dad is getting better but still doesn't wake up, even though the doctors say he could any minute now. I've fallen into a strong depression, and the worst thing is that I have to pretend my life is great because my mom doesn't know about us, yet. I know I have to tell her, but I was waiting to do it after graduation, obviously my plans were crushed, so now I'm waiting for Marina to come back.

I really wanted to be there for her, it must be such a delicate moment, and again, I'm useless. All I can think about is that I have to go to Greece, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I have to.

I kept the sweatshirt I borrowed the last time under my pillow. I hold it whenever I miss her. It doesn't even smell like her anymore, but her sweet vanilla scent is clear in my mind.

What's the point of this relationship if I can't be there when she needs me? She was here in a matter of minutes when I needed her, and I've left her deal with this by herself, that's incredibly selfish of me, but is there something I can do?

***

Tonight is one of those strange nights when my mom and I get to sit on the table and have dinner like a family instead of eating alone in our rooms or in front of the tv, we talk and tell each other everything that's happened in the past days. She's in a great mood, I don't know why, but I better take advantage of it. This could be my one and only chance.

“Remember you told me that you'd take me anywhere I wanted after I graduated?” I say nervously, the words struggle to come out of my mouth and I feel my heart start racing.

“Yes, darling, but I'm too busy with work right now, where do you want to go?”

Think of something, quick, come on. “Greece, there's this festival this week. I forgot to tell you, but I really want to go. It’s kind of a big deal. All my favourite bands are going.” I say, my lie going undetected by my mother's radar.

“I can't go with you and you can't go alone.” She says it seriously, but I have to go.

“Mom, please, you won't have to buy me anything for a year, I'd do whatever you want.” I beg, and I'm two seconds away to start crying and make a huge drama out of this. It’s my secret trick and it always works.

“Let’s say I let you go... When will you go and who will go with you?” I try my best not to smile. I know it's a yes.

“It starts in a couple of days, so, as soon as possible, and I don't know, maybe Lorena?” She had in fact apologized to me for the Marina incident, and as she owes me, she can't say no.

There's nothing but silence for a while, like she's thinking about it, then she takes a deep breath and says “Call your sister, if she says yes, go online and buy the tickets.”

I get off my seat and hug my mom so tight I might as well have hurt her. “Thank you, thank you. You’re the best, thank you!”

***