The Other Side of Me

Chapter 7

SEPTEMBER

-ELEANOR-

I kept on telling myself to focus on my studies and give Zayn some space to think what he had done because he hasn't got any idea why I'm not talking to him.

It was hard at first, but then I got used to the pain that I always feel that whenever I don't feel it I feel so incomplete, When there's no pain,I don't feel Zayn,I don't feel that he exists,I don't feel that he cares about me.

Weird isn't it? I measure his love by using the pain that he gives to me. I know, he doesn't mean to hurt me... He loves me as much as I do, it's just his job to be with Perrie and I don't have a say on that,when it comes to his job.

I haven't realized that it's been a year since then,a year since my world collapsed,a world that only Zayn and I lives in.

I love him so much, and I will do everything to make our relationship work. I will do everything even if it takes killing myself. I will do it.

I checked my phone first before I start reading a new book for tonight. Maybe Zayn already knew why I act like this.

There's only one new message and fortunately, it's from him...

from: Zayn M.

Hi babe, hows uni? we hvnt talked since you went back to Man. nyways, I'm going back to Bradford this weekend wanna see u. xx 

I smiled at his text message, even though my mind says that I should hate him for not realizing what kind of stupidity he got into.

I replied to his text message,just a short one saying that I will check my schedule and I'll message him as soon as I have the schedules. and I do hope that I won't have an exam on that same week. so I can leave Manchester even just for a day.

Then after that,I read the book that I bought,It's not knew but just a hand-me-down that I got from a thrift bookstore. A story about a girl who gave up his first love, just to be with the guy who she thought would complete her.

It's a twisted love story because the other guy already had a wife but he never told the girl, it's a sad love story but it happens in real life and I kinda like the synopsis.

I opened the lampshade beside my bed and focused on the story. It kept my mind relaxed somehow and It kept me aswell from doing some dumb thing that I will regret for sure.

"El,we're going to a pub,wanna come?" Talisha asked me,I declined their offer because I'm not in the mood to go to a pub right now. I told them that I had to read this for my Literature class and it's due tomorrow,and I hope they will buy my lie.

"We'll just buy some take away for you,yeah?" Max said then I nodded before they went in their own rooms to get ready. 

I smiled at Alana who I share the room with while she's dolling herself up. I always admire her when she's putting on some make up because I seriously don't know how to use some make up that will suit me.

One reason why I envy Perrie is that she's so good when it comes  to putting on some make up,One thing I'm not.

But then,Zayn told me that I looke better without a make up on because I'm beautiful with or without make up. 

"You sure you don't want to come? You'll enjoy it, I promise" Alana kept on convincing me to go with them...

When they finally went out of the flat,I was all alone... I haven't felt it,but when I went outside to get some water, the lights are all out and it's cold. I felt lonely then. I felt sad, that I should've gone with them to the pub.

I texted Harry and Louis,but not Zayn. I texted them that I wanted to talk to someone because I'm all alone in the flat reading a book and I got bored...

Harry called me first and he told me that he's in Los Angeles right now while the other's in New York...

"You should come with us,or with me here in LA,I'm having so much fun right now! And you should have fun El" Harry told me,I want to go to LA,too but my friends and I are planning for our France tour this year.

And I don't want people to think that I'm cheating on 'Louis' with Harry, it's just too inappropriate if it will happen.

"Well then,call or text me if you want too,I'll be staying in LA whenever I have a free time,investing on some house here...yeah,just text me and you better sleep and get some rest and I'll talk to Zayn" he said before he hung up on me

Maybe Louis is sleeping, or maybe he's in a club or something.

I googled Zerrie again,and still the never-ending engagement of them is still on the number one spot.

I got bored of it so I opened my laptop so I can watch reruns of FRIENDS,even though I've watched it thousands of times I still laugh at them,especially when Joey's doing something stupid. It gets me everytime.

--

"How's the party last night?" I asked Max while we're drinking coffee early in the morning, he's got a hangover and his head is pounding so hard according to him.

 We talked about the party and Max told me how crazy Talisha and Portia were,and of course our coffee hour will never be complete if no one will recognize me and call me a beard... This is the life that I live in and I have to cope up with everything. I have to accept the fact that some people will never like me the way others do,they will never give me a chance to prove that I'm worth it for 'Louis' and I don't use him for fame.

It's been hell of a year,but it's all worth it. The ups and downs, made me realize that it can be good for your life,too. Because if there are no ups,no downs,then you're probably dead.

I remembered Zayn telling me that Enjoy life,it has an expiration date. So that's what I'm doing now,words hurt,but some things are not worth your time.

Okay,I'm being nonsense, I miss Zayn so much,that's all. if I want to make things work,I have to work on it,obviously...

I miss him and I want things to be alright between us,I won't let stupid job get in our way,I will do it 'my way'.