air catcher- phan

one

(Dan)

My marker went up and down my arms, creating a beautiful yet random design. All of my surroundings- the lunchroom, the teachers, the never ending chatter of pubescent students- melted away like an ice cube on a warm day. I was drawing in black permanent marker, so it would stay for quite a while. I focused on the intricate swirls and curves across my wrists. Gently lifting the marker, I found an untouched section of skin and added more calming swirls.

I had successfully escaped myself.

I didn't stop drawing until I heard a rustle and squeak from beside me. I looked up to see an older boy with black hair and clothes of the same color sit down by my side. His pale skin was almost paper white. Him sitting down right here surprised me, because normally no one noticed me. I was just a smudge on the school social map, even though I still lay awake at night, dreading the judgmental faces of the school.

The boy reached into a paper bag and pulled out a sandwich. I tried not to stare as I continued my pattern. I was quite hungry, but I didn't want to eat. More of, I shouldn't eat.

All of a sudden something tapped my shoulder. I turned to see the boy holding out part of his sandwich. No words escaped his lips, but I guess he saw how I didn't have a lunch to eat.

"Oh, um, no thanks," I said, gently nudging it back towards him. The irrational fear I had pushed away was creeping back.

He's judging you...

"Why not? Are you... you allergic to peanuts or some-something?" He asked, a stutter consuming his words.

"No, I just..." I racked my mind for an excuse, "already ate. So I'm not hungry, but thanks."

He nodded and returned to his lunch, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket. I could hear my stomach growl at the offering of food, but my mind muted it with thoughts of the other boys and what their thoughts were. 

They already call you fat.

This is his food, let him have it.

If they heard you took food from this kid, the taunts will come.

And so will the pain.

They crept inside and gave me a hunger to do anything to fix it. They built a circle around me, every little thought another row of bricks. When it was short, I could step over it, like now. But slowly, steadily, the walls could grow, trapping me inside. But I had been dealing with a wall over my head I had to repeatedly knock down for too long.

Wait, where was I?

I shook my head to clear my brain.

More swirls, that's right.

Picking up where I had left off, my marker blew cool breezes of ink across my skin that drowned the voices and brought me to my happy place.

*A.N.: Hi friends! Sorry for how short this chapter was, the others will be longer, I promise. Phil's POV will be introduced next chapter. (yes he is the black haired dude dan turned down a sandwich from) 

Peanut butter and... Marmite?

~Izzy