Who We Used To Be // h.s

26

Harry.

We finished the tour and flew back to London the following day. I was happy with finishing in time for Christmas but I also was going to miss the tour life. It only made me more excited for next March when I'd tour for a majority of the year.

Emma and I were good. I know I annoy her and don't always say the right things but me and her are good, we can always work through our differences.

We'd been home from tour for a week, Emma was glad to be back with Alex and I was happy to see them together again. I could tell it had taken its toll on her the two of them being so far away. She had promised over and over during the last few days of tour that she'd never go so far away from him again.

I was flying out to New York tonight, I was going to visit Cameron to talk through more about the baby and what we can do. It had been on my mind ever since I found out.

I could tell I had been a little different, I wasn't as patient as I am normally and I felt the guilt rising up every so often. There were so many times I wanted to tell her. Just say; look here's the situation that I'm in.

I know she'd want that, she would want me to just be straight with her. Emma isn't one for indirect awkward chat. But it would be the look on her face, the pain she'd feel. Haven't I put her through enough? When would i stop hurting her?

Will she hate me, when she finds out? How should I tell her? These were the things I'd ask myself daily. We weren't together when the baby was conceived I was with Cameron.

It's just wrong keeping it from Emma now.

"Sup?"

Emma's voice made me jump, she stood at my bedroom door with a small smile on her face, like she wasn't sure whether she could come in or not.

Standing straight I put my hand out to her to gesture her to me.

We hug and I kiss her hair, appreciating having her so close.

"Alex fell asleep in his lunch so I put him straight down to nap," She laughs. "I think your stroll to the park exhausted him,"

I had taken him to the park so emma could sleep in an extra hour. She had been up and down all night with him, he was barely sleeping at the minute.

"It exhausted me so I'm not surprised." I joke.

"You okay? Need help packing?" She brushes her fingertips over my stress lines on my face and I smile down at her.

"I'm fine babe, honest. Just some last little bits left to pack."

"How long will you be gone?" She moves to sitting on the bed so I can carry on.

"Just four days,"

"Couldn't they hold the meetings over here? I mean.. most of them are English."

I bite my lip, I was glad my back was to her because then she wouldn't see the guilt.

"It's just four days, two of which will just be for traveling." I turn and kiss her lips.

"What aren't you telling me?" She asks blunt as ever.

My heart stops.

"I've known you long enough to know when something is off Harry. Please just tell me, I can't deal with secrets and lies."

It's the perfect opportunity.

"I'm, well.. here's the thing-"

"Mummy?" A tearful Alex stands at my door rubbing his eyes.

"Baby? Go back to bed," Emma stands and collects Alex in her arms.

She walks him back to the guest room where I had a children's bed built for him.

I sigh with relief. Was I going to tell her? Would I really have told her then?

Emma.

By the time I get Alex back to sleep Harry had finished packing and was back downstairs, his bags were by the door and it honestly made me feel the tiniest bit sad. I'd been with him all week and this would only be four days but I'd still miss him.

I smile watching him make a smoothie.

"Want one?" He asks taking down a second glass.

I nod. "Please,"

I still hadn't forgotten earlier. The fact I felt he was hiding something. I felt like there was something going on under my nose and it made me uncomfortable. Not necessarily a bad thing, but something.

"If there is anything Harry," I say quietly. "Please don't hide it from me,"

He nods with a small smile. "You have nothing to worry about,"

This only made me worry more. There was something going on.

And I was going to find out what.