Sisters Grimm Oneshots

Tea Parties

The March Hare was confused.

He was confused because he could not remember ever being in a place like this before. In fact, he was positive that about fifteen seconds ago, he had been with the Dormouse, drinking tea, and wondering where the Hatter was (it seemed an awful long time since he'd seen the Hatter, but he wasn't sure. He was so rarely sure of anything).

And now he was on a street in a place that most certainly was not woods, surrounded by people who all looked oddly... normal. The buildings all went straight up and down, no more than five stories high, and had windows in flat rows. The people wore blue pants and different colored shirts, and not one of them had a single mutation. They all looked human, and boring.

Strange.

He had no idea how he'd gotten here, or where the here even was. Perhaps he ought to look for a familiar face. He'd met so many people in his life that at least one of them had to be here.

No, no familiar faces. Familiar feet? Feet were much more recognizable than faces.

No, no, no, no... None of these feet looked familiar. Except... A pair of very large red feet, almost round. He'd know those feet anywhere. They were the Queen of Hearts' feet. He was where he belonged! Though, come to think of it, the queen had been conspicuously absent recently, too. How long had it been since he'd seen her? A week? A month? A decade? A century? He didn't know.

"Your majesty!" he cried, wrapping his forelegs around her. "Wherever art we? Would you like to offer me a cup of tea? I'd be most delighted to accept if you did. And it would be most rude of you not to offer your guest tea."

"Nottingham, get this creature off me!" the Queen roared.

A new man began pulling the March Hare away, and he didn't stop, no matter how much the March Hare protested. The Hare suddenly found himself in an odd place: a small gray room with no windows. How rude.

"Hello hello hello!" a familiar voice came from behind him.

The March Hare spun around and grinned. "Hatter!" he cried, and ran over to shake his friend's hand. "You've missed tea! But it's all right. If I can just figure out how to get home, it'll still be going on."

"It was very rude of you not to send a reminder," the Hatter chided. "I've been waiting for days. Or longer. And would you send me a chisel when you do? It will be difficult to join you, as they've locked me in here for being too mad."

"I would, but my file is at your house," the hare responded. "You borrowed it for your nose hair and never gave it back."

"Well, then, perhaps we should have tea here instead," the Hatter suggested.

"Oh, yes, let's!" the March Hare said, sitting on the floor.

They did. No tea, pot, cups, or table, but they had the best tea party either of them could remember. And when Nottingham came to feed them, he was sucked into their party as well, against his will. In his attempt to escape, they followed him out, and home, where they had all his tea for more of the party.

It took Nottingham a full three weeks to figure out how to get the duo back to Wonderland. Three horrible, horrible weeks before all he had to deal with was the Queen of Hearts again.

He hated Wonderlanders.