january 16, 2013
11:23 pm
dear ashton,
i asked you to come to the park today at ten o'clock like we always do.
you showed up, excuse me, stormed up to me and i knew you were mad. you said you had just had a fight with your mom because she always thinks you're going out late at night to party and do drugs or get laid but all you're really doing is hanging out with me.
you never really had a good home life. your mom can never seem to find the right guy and your dad was never there. youre basically the one raising your brother and sister since your mom is either out getting waisted or laid or maybe both. you guys always fight. it makes me sad, it really does.
you ranted on about your mom for a bit until you calmed down and we sat in silence, which was nice.
i glanced over and you were looking at the stars. you always do that. you always look so cute doing that.
i thought it was the right time to tell you. so I sighed, looked you in the eyes, and said it.
"im sick."
you looked at me confused and asked whats wrong but then I started to cry and then you got worried so I cried harder and you hugged me. we stayed like that for a bit.
at some point my sobs turned into whimpers and then I was silent.
"i have cancer."
you froze.
then you stopped hugging me.
you got up and backed away.
"i...i need some time, venus. this is a lot to take in." you said and ran your hand through your hair. you looked like you were about to cry.
i just nodded and let you walk away because i knew you would do this and i knew you werent actually leaving me.
but then i imagined you leaving me and i got very sad. i would be so lost if you left me. you were the only one who listened to me. the only one who ever made time for me. probably the only person who cares.
so now here i am sitting on an old swing set in the middle of the night, crying over the thought of you leaving me, and writing a letter i will never send.
ill give you all the time in the world to think about this, but I honestly really hope you don't need it.
forever,
venus
YOU ARE READING
venus || ashton irwin
Fanfiction"you are the stars and the sun and the moon and the clouds but you are also the rain and the thunder and the lightning." a story in which a girl writes letters she will never send to a boy she could never love. [book one in the solar series]
