january 18, 2013
11:55 pm
dear ashton,
i went to the doctors today.
i start chemotherapy in a week.
im not prepared.
i cried most of the day today.
it really hit me that i have cancer.
i felt that i needed to clear my head so i went to the park and there you were, sitting on the swings, looking at the stars.
i sat down next to you but you never looked my way.
and i couldn't help but notice how different you looked.
your hair was a mess and you had bags under your eyes. you looked a little sad, i could see it in your eyes.
you finally broke the silence.
"are you okay?"
"no."
"why?"
"im sick. are you okay?"
you nodded. but it was hardly believable.
we sat in silence. i could tell you were thinking really hard because your eyebrows were knit together and your mouth was in a hard line.
"are you afraid?"
your question caught me off guard and i didn't know what to say. i stumbled over a few words while i thought some things over in my head.
was i afraid of cancer? yes.
was i afraid of dying? absolutely.
"yes."
you nodded, then walked off.
but before you walked off you kissed me on the cheek.
you had done this before but this time it felt like something had changed about it.
when you kissed my cheek, your touch lingered there, and my stomach started to feel like it was floating.
im scared because i think i might have feelings for you.
and i don't want too because i don't want you to live with the pain of knowing i could be dead sometime soon.
i'm trying not to fall for you, but right now it's all i can do.
i'm so sorry.
forever,
venus
YOU ARE READING
venus || ashton irwin
Fan Fiktion"you are the stars and the sun and the moon and the clouds but you are also the rain and the thunder and the lightning." a story in which a girl writes letters she will never send to a boy she could never love. [book one in the solar series]
