april 30, 2013
1:00 am.
dear ashton,
i wanted to explore today. just see some things and look around before i die.
i came across a creek, it was beautiful. i'm not going to go into detail of how beautiful it actually was because i want to keep to beauty for myself. sorry, i'm selfish.
it was easy to walk through, as well. which was a miracle considering my condition. let's just say steep hills are not my thing lately.
i promised myself i would find the end of this creek. i wanted to see where this masterpiece led to, probably somewhere more beautiful. damn, i was in the beautiful mood.
who knows how long it took me, but i finally found the end. it was a cliff. the view was astonishing, just like you.
sorry, i should probably stop comparing you to nature because you are far more beautiful than that.
the drop looked like it was 40 feet. long enough to kill somebody.
i sat on the edge, being the little dare devil i am, and looked around. i just couldn't get over the view. being surrounded by all these beautiful things made me feel, i don't know, alive? yeah, it was the first time i had felt alive for a while now. it was nice.
you know, we haven't seen each other in a while. i've had to skip the past few thrursdays, i was either sick and vomiting everywhere or i was tired and couldn't get out if bed if my life depended on it. which it kind of does, though.
i know you still go, though. i know you still go the park and sit on the swing set and wait for me to come. then you leave because you know i'm most likely not going to show up. sorry.
i've been ignoring your calls too. i hate distancing myself from you, but i think it's for the best.
we're no good for each other, ashton. we both know that.
i sat at that cliff and wondered about you. i think about you a lot, most of my thoughts consist of you and what you're doing and if you're okay.
i really hope you're okay.
i tried to stop thinking about you, for it was making me depressed, and began to think about this cliff again.
just as i was about to leave i came across the realization that this place would be a beautiful place to die.
i know this sounds weird,
but i would rather die there
than any other hospital
they could have put me in.
-
aw venus how poetic of you
and btw this is not edited bc it is one in the morning and I am not doing that
YOU ARE READING
venus || ashton irwin
Fanfiction"you are the stars and the sun and the moon and the clouds but you are also the rain and the thunder and the lightning." a story in which a girl writes letters she will never send to a boy she could never love. [book one in the solar series]
