Sunshine, Daisies...Butterfly Puppies?! (A Dramione Comedy)

4- Sexy, Scandalous Slytherin Strikes a Snake

"Harry! What in the name of Merlin?!" Hermione skidded to a halt.

Harry stopped in his tracks as soon as he and Hermione had locked eyes. "Hermione?!" His eyes shifted to the five silver flowers on her forehead. "Great, the bloody ferret struck you too, didn't he?"

Hermione huffed. She clenched her fists and tried to ignore the image of a bloody, nude Draco that flashed in her mind at the sound the words "bloody ferret."

"Don't mention anything about him," snapped Hermione, looking at the ground and pressing her palms against her temples. "It's a major struggle to keep him off my mind."

Harry rubbed the side of his scar, where three silver flowers were growing. "Ugh, tell me about it. I feel so helpless and...dirty. As soon as Pansy stripped off her clothes in front of Draco, I found myself tackling her and beating her up...next thing I know, I'm chasing her in her undergarments down this sidewalk."

Hermione shook her head with a look of desperation in her eyes. "This is horrible."

"I know, I can't have my brain working this way. Especially since Ginny and I just got back from our honeymoon!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I can't have my brain is working this way, especially since Ron and I just got engaged. How am I supposed to be a good fiancé now?"

Harry was rubbing his temples. "How am I supposed to be a good husband if I got that...that...deliciously scandalous Slytherin prince on my mind...."

Hermione flinched. She smacked Harry's cheek. "Harry! How dare you....that delicious Slytherin prince is...MINE."

Her urge to scold Harry instantly transformed into the urge to tackle him, to fight him to the death for that silver-eyed pureblood.

Harry instantly shoved Hermione against the wall, making her dizzy from the impact. "Malfoy is MINE, you mudblood. MINE."

Hermione's hands were suddenly wrapped around Harry's throat. The young man started gagging and loosening his grip on Hermione. "Don't you DARE call me a mudblood. Only my sexy, silver-eyed Slytherin smut-partner can call me that."

"That's right, Potter! How dare you copy me!" A drawling voice immediately made Hermione release Harry's neck and spin around to face Draco, who was walking up to her with...that seductive smirk on his face. Behind him were Blaise and Galvin.

"M-Malfoy..." Hermione was about spat a mouthful of insults, but she cut herself off as soon as she realized that there was a purple cobra wrapped around the top of Draco's shoulders. The tail-tip of the cobra was formed like a three-pronged trident, as well as the tongue of the cobra that continued to slip in and out of its mouth. "Wh-why do you have a Cobrazor? Draco, that's dangerous, that thing can give you Black Bile!"

"Aw, concerned about my health, Granger?" Draco raised his eyebrows. He stroked his hand across the Cobrazor's purple, scaly body. "This here is Forktongue. He's my new pet, and he's gonna protect me from all the other Cobrazors roaming out there."

Harry, who was lying on his side at Hermione's feet, gasping for air, looked up and straightened his glasses. "What do you mean? I'm supposed to be your guardian! I can protect you from all those monsters and sexual predators out there!" Harry then shook his head rapidly, cursing at himself for spitting out those words.

Draco, Blaise, and Galvin all started laughing. Even Forktongue seemed to be humored, for the snake raised his head and stuck out his tongue. The two flaps around its neck spread out and rattled, revealing a silver flower at the center of each flap.