Sunshine, Daisies...Butterfly Puppies?! (A Dramione Comedy)

6- Snake Snot

Hermione found herself skipping merrily across a grassy meadow. She was arm-in-arm with Draco, and above them were Penny and Pokey, fluttering above their heads. Suddenly, the pups started yapping and releasing a pink, powdery mist around them, eliciting the mixed scent of vanilla and cherries. As soon as Hermione inhaled the scent, the entire scene around her disappeared, and she was blinking her eyes open in a white-walled room where Lexa and Penny were standing by her side. She still smelled the vanilla-cherry scent from the pink powder coming from Penny's butterfly ears.

"Okay, that's enough Penny," said Lexa, putting a hand on the Yapillon's silky back. The mist stopped eliciting from her ears.

Hermione sat up. "Oh my goodness! How did I get here?!" She looked around the room in the Barkson Hospital.

Lexa looked at Hermione, her eyes wide. "Oh shoot, don't make me retell that horrid moment last night! Hermione, you and Draco were dragged here in a bubble of Venomucus."

Hermione's face twisted in disgust. "Venomucus...?"

Lexa gave a quick nod. "Forktongue released it over you guys and since the stuff is sticky AF, he was able to drag you both over here at the same time, just by having the bubble settle on the unsharpened sides of his three-pronged tail. You guys were unconscious when he arrived here with your bodies! And both of you were covered in so many bruises, with some crazy electrolyte imbalances in your blood! What the heck happened?!"

Hermione blinked a couple times and shook her head. "It's all coming back now. Draco and I were just about to step into his apartment...but Voldemort awaited us there."

"Aha!" Lexa jumped. "That's what Forktongue was explaining to me and Penny when he brought you guys here."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at Lexa. "Forktongue told you we were nearly killed by the most feared wizard in the world, whom we thought Harry had killed nearly two years ago?"

Lexa spun around, pressing her hands on her temples. "Arrrgh! YES! He said that he managed to save both you and Draco by releasing some Venomucus to on you guys to lessen the effect of the weird spell that was about to be cast on you. You guys were still struck by that spell, which is why you needed to be taken here to our hospital, but with Venomucus plastered all over your bodies, the effect of the spell was reduced."

Hermione nodded carefully. So Venomucus can weaken the effect of Avada Kedavra? Interesting...no wonder we're still alive.

Lexa continued to ramble on. "Forktongue communicated the whole story to me—in his own language of hisses that only people in M.B.'s story could understand. But he was also telling me a bunch of weird shit that I wasn't even sure was all true. I'm glad to hear from you now, so I can confirm that it wasn't all bullcrap."

Hermione felt her cheeks turn red. "So I guess he also told you that I was attacked by a dark-hooded figure who had the Organink Wand with him."

"Yes! And Draco actually saved you? And he confessed that he LOVED you?!" Lexa's face was twisted with both shock and disgust. "You know, some redheaded dude named Ron came to visit you earlier this morning while you were still unconscious. He said you were his fiancé? And that you never showed up to the dinner you two had been planning to have?"

Hermione gasped at the sound of Ron's name. But since Lexa had also mentioned Draco, Hermione couldn't help but smile dreamily. "Y-yes....I'm engaged to Ronald Weasley as of last week. But...but..." she was fighting her impulses again, but lost again. "...but...I think I've found someone better. And we were so close to having...."

"Oh, goodness, you're sick!" Lexa smacked her shoulder. Luckily, Hermione was fully healed from her wounds, so it didn't hurt too much.

Hermione turned to the orange-haired girl, returning her shocked and disgusted expression. "Oh, Lexa, I'm so sorry, but I couldn't hold back my urges to reciprocate Draco's confessed love. The Bedazzlebuds were too strong in my blood, thanks to the flowers on my forehead."

Lexa snorted. "Sickening. But anyway, who the hell is this Voldemort? Why did he try to kill you guys?"

Hermione stared at Lexa, suddenly remembering that, although Lexa looked as real as any human being on this planet, she was only a character from a science-fiction novel, brought into this world by the Organink Wand. She had no background knowledge about their wizarding world.

"Oh, Merlin," mumbled Hermione. "The first thing you should know about Voldemort is that he's supposed to be dead. I think...I think that dark-hooded figure who attacked me has something to do with his return. He must have written about Voldemort with Organink, and then used the Organink Wand to summon him out of his writing to bring him into this world."

Lexa nodded, frowning studiously. "Uh-huh. That would make sense. He must have written all about Voldemort's life story, personality, and background, just as M.B. did with my family and our Yapillons and the Cobrazors. What's Voldemort's backstory? Tell me all about him!"

Hermione heaved a sigh. "There's so much to say about Voldemort. It's a long story...if I tried to explain it to you, you would freak out."

Lexa already looked freaked out. She yanked on her hair. "Well, uncertainty freaks me out more than anything else in the world!" She grabbed Hermione's shoulders and dug her nails into her skin, making Hermione wince. "HERMIONE, YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW!"

"Please stop screaming in my face!" Hermione pushed the young Healer away.

Lexa stumbled back but continued to yell in her high-pitched voice. "YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAIN TO ME WHO VOLDEMORT IS! If I become too stressed from all the stress of uncertainty, my immune system will go down, and then I'll be the one who's sick! I CAN'T BE SICK! I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF THE SICK, DAMMIT!" She kicked a trash can beside her. Penny yapped and began to flap her butterfly ears to hover in midair.

Hermione pressed her back against the bedrest of the hospital bed. While Lexa continued to scream out her worries about losing her skills and reputation as a Healer, Hermione was gazing at a dark-hooded figure standing at the window behind Lexa and Penny. The figure was facing her, holding the Organink Wand in his hand.