Sunshine, Daisies...Butterfly Puppies?! (A Dramione Comedy)

7- Draco and Hermione go on a Ketogenic Diet

The door opened, and Hermione shifted her gaze to see Galvin walk into the room, smiling smugly. "Damn, calm your tits, woman," he said to Lexa. "Poor Draco could hear you screaming down the hall, where he was trying to rest."

Hermione shifted her gaze back to the window. The dark hooded figure was gone. "Hey, the thief was just right there—"

"Ah, no worries, Galvin," Draco walked into the room, dressed in white hospital gown. Hermione shifted her gaze toward Draco, immediately forgetting about the dark hooded figure at the window. Her heart raced as she heard Draco speak. "Pokey did a great job restoring me back to health." He met Hermione's eyes and gave her a wink, which sent excited shivers down her spine and a tingling sensation in her stomach. "But no worries, Granger. Pokey did not eliminate the Bedazzlebuds in my blood—yet. Galvin and I came here to discuss that with you, Granger, because we were actually considering it."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Really, Draco? You take me to your apartment to have sex with me after confessing that you always loved me, only to surprise me with Voldemort, who, by the way, nearly killed us both! And now you're wanting to remove the source in my blood that's causing me to reciprocate your love? What's going on here?"

Draco walked up to Hermione, holding his hands of in defense. "Hey, first of all, I had no idea that Voldemort was in my apartment. I was just as shocked as you were. Second, Galvin just told me about a huge health issue we have since we were struck by a weakened Avada Kedavra curse, and the cure for such a health issue will also cure us from Bedazzlebuds."

"A health issue," Hermione repeated testily, trying to hold back her urge to jump out of bed and onto his body, to finish what they had meant to start the other night.

Draco nodded. "We were about to be struck by Avada Kedavra, but because Forktongue purposely sneezed Venomucus on us, the curse became modified when it struck us. We ended up being struck with a very weakened version of Avada Kedavra."

Galvin chuckled smoothly. "And based on the lab tests we performed on you guys, the two of you are going to have very intense seizures as a result of the weakened Abra Kadabra curse."

"Avada Kedavra," corrected Hermione, glaring at Galvin.

"Whatevs," shrugged the spiky-haired young man. "The main point here is that each time you guys have those intense seizures, your life expectancy will decrease by 10 years. And based on the neurochemistry in your brains, you're going to have these seizures pretty frequently."

Draco nodded, keeping his gaze on Hermione. "So that's how a weakened version of Avada Kedavra will kill us," said Draco solemnly. "It will give us these seizures that will make our lifespan shorter and shorter each time we have them, until our lifespan is so short that we eventually just die after a good number of seizures."

Hermione reached out a hand and gently grabbed his arm. "It's okay...we can die together, love."

Galvin cracked up.

Lexa made a retching noise. "Hermione!"

Hermione instantly yanked her hand back, furious with herself. "Dammit, I did it again!"

Lexa hurried up to her. "It's alright. Draco was correct—there is a treatment plan that can actually cure you from both the weakened Avada Kedavra curse and Bedazzlebuds at the same time!"

Galvin sighed and rolled his eyes, looking annoyed. "Yeah, apparently, the only way to save yourselves from getting these life-shortening seizures is to start a ketogenic diet for one month. After one year on the ketogenic diet, you will be completely free of the weakened curse. But being on the ketogenic diet will also free you guys from Bedazzlebuds."