Hopes | JiHan (Joshua x Jeonghan FF)

Chapter 1

I'm republishing this fic from more than a year ago. I unpublished this because I found it very cringe and just ehhhh please forgive my immature writing in this one.

I tried denying it a million times, but I just can't help it. Yoon Jeonghan! I think I like you... I think about him everyday, when I'm sleeping at the dorms, when I'm in the shower... His naughty but adorable smile, his flirting with the other members...

His elegant yet manly gestures, his seductive gaze... Everything about him captivates me. I can't help but stay still, frozen in my shoes. I can't help it. Yoon Jeonghan, you're beautiful.

It's your fault why you're always on my mind.
You're always so nice to me. It gets my hopes up that we could perhaps become a thing... but that's just who you are. You're like that with everyone. You call me special yet I still don't know what I am to you.

But I think we're perfect the way we are right now. I don't want to ruin this. I just hope we can remain like this forever... Just as... 'close friends'.

*

"Thank you so much y'all!" S. Coups, our leader, shouted through the mic to make himself audible to the sea of carats in the audience. When did we all made it so far? It made me happy. I hope I'm  making you proud, Mom... Dad... The members give me all the happiness I deserve, everyone is so nice.

The stage lights, the crowd... Was making me feel dizzy. I can't collapse here. Not right now... I remember not being able to sleep because I was practicing really hard for this performance. I can't let this night to turn into a disaster. Just half an hour more until this ends. Just-

"Shua-ah, are you alright" Jeonghan whispered into my ear. God, his sweet voice is making me even more dizzy.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't feel very well" I whispered back.

He's so nice to be worrying about me... But he's the mom of SEVENTEEN, what else can I expect from him?

It's gonna end soon. Josh, pull yourself together. I really felt sick. Everyone was giving their well wishes to the carats. It was finally my turn. Everyone turned to me. I just said a simple "Thank you to the carats for supporting us!" I guess everyone was expecting something more but Jeonghan took away the mic from my hand as soon as I was done. I think he got the general idea that I wasn't in the right state to say something more.

I don't remember what he said but I remember it all had ended and we were all going backstage. While we were at it, I noticed a defect in the stage... I'm totally not gonna fall inside like Jeonghan did this new year. I giggled. Jeonghan turned to me. "What's so funny?" He asked. That made me laugh more for some reason. I stepped a little back.

"Joshua! Watch out!!--" those were the only words I remember.
...

I fell off the stage. It was quite high. I wake up in a hospital room. I can hear the doctor say. "There's a teeny tiny fracture in his ankle bone. He needs some rest of 3-4 weeks and he'd be all well. There's nothing to worry about. But remember, no dancing during that time! Idols sure have it tough"

"What? noo!" I blurted out, everyone was surprised to see I regained my consciousness so fast. "But we just made a comeback! What about the promotions, I have to be there!!" Everything seemed to shatter. My eyes started tearing up. It was my fault.

Just then, I felt someone holding my hand... It was Yoon Jeonghan. "Don't push yourself. You need rest. As your best friend, I wouldn't let you do anything that hurts you. After all, it was me who distracted you. It's all my fault." He said.

"No. Not you. Don't apologise Jeonghan-ah... It was my--" He put his hand over my mouth. I know he knows that I can't say anything to counter his words. I cannot argue...

The days went by... I was bedridden in the hospital room. Everyday, a few members came with flowers to give me well wishes. I was stuck there, each night... Staring at the same ceiling. It had been a week and half, but Jeonghan didn't came. I was informed by my manager, that the entire group will come meet me tomorrow. I'm gonna scold him hard when he comes to see me then. He's usually always the first one to come to look after me. He must've been busy... busy with promotions and stuff. I sighed and drifted to sleep.