Peter (The Devil On My Shoulder)

Pushing Daisies

Maybe it was silly of me to believe that things could work out on their own. Maybe I was naive in secretly hoping that by some grace of God that Peter would be found alive. I was hopeful because I knew that I had started to really care for him, to care for a boy who defied all laws of life and death, and I really wanted, I really needed, for him to be alive so that I could prove to myself that I wasn't insane for falling for someone who wasn't even here.

"You don't have to do this." Peter said as he walked beside me. 

"Yes, I do." for myself and for Eli. After spending all night with him in the hospital, I promised him that I would do this, and that I would bring flowers to lay in his name. And I wasn't going to break a promise to him, not after everything he's been through.

I stood in front of the marked grave, reading Peter's name over and over again. His picture was placed beside the tombstone with fresh roses laying across the ground. He looked so happy and carefree in the picture, causing my heart to ache because I'd never see him like that, I'd never know the boy before the tragedy. 

The daisies in my hand felt heavy. I had wanted to bring a rose but Peter insisted I buy these. We spent hours picking them out, and now I couldn't even bring myself to place them on the ground. All I could do was stare at his tombstone in silence with the clenched daisies in my hand. 

"This is where all my family is buried." Peter said as he stood beside me, "One day, my cousin, with his twisted sense of humor, jokingly pointed out where our graves would be when we died, he told us which weird uncle or crazy aunt we'd have to spend eternity next to." Peter shook his head, "This is the exact spot he picked for me...." 

"It doesn't feel real." I said as I took a deep breath, my eyes stinging with threats of tears. 

Peter placed a hand on my shoulder, causing me to flinch before realizing it was him, "Sorry," I said, relaxing, "I just can't wrap my head around you being down there in a box...I can't picture it...I don't want to picture it." 

"Death's not easy, no matter what side you're looking at it from." He replied, and then he broke out into a huge smile and started laughing. He was the happiest I've ever seen him. 

"Why are you smiling?" I asked, confused.

 "Because I'm reading my own name engraved in stone...not Eli's." He let out a huge sigh of relief as he stared at his grave, "Because even though our last name is engraved in that stone, the only first name beside it is mine...and not Eli's.....not Eli..." he smiled again and looked at me with tears in his eyes, "And that gives me more than enough reason to smile."