Maybe I change my mind,
Maybe I'm not ready to fight.
I could have the longing back if I can change the truth.
I still don't know what's what
Or whose who,
Once again I don't think I want to.
I've been sounding so sure,
"I just want to know
The Truth",
But all along I've been scared that I don't want to,
Believing can be safer sometimes.
This time it wasn't even me looking.
It just happened,
Right now:
What I always wanted to see,
They've already been looking,
Trying to find me,
It makes it seem like they cared
Even if I don't anymore,
Even if it's unfixable.
Although this has happened before.
But now I want to run away,
I'm thinking that:
I don't want this anymore.
That this is what I've asked for,
But now I'm not too sure.
Looking at it terrifies me;
Going around, circling in my head is:
Maybe I don't want this,
Maybe it should go away,
Maybe I'd be better off never finding out,
This isn't what I want anymore.
Emotions are a mixture of things,
But for the first few seconds it was almost a sad happiness,
Like perhaps I could finally find a release.
Then I heard who it was,
Then I saw the picture,
Which was when I thought
"I don't want it, can it go away?"
All I've really wanted was decay to take the day away.
13/8/17
YOU ARE READING
Escaping Sorrow
PoetryA project where I attempt to overcome the absence of an unknown man supposed to shape a father - whatever that is. Putting this out here is a massive step for me because up to a point of last year I hardly even allowed myself to write down the word...
