"𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐮" | 𝐲.𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤

thirty-six

yoongi threw his phone down and pulled on a solid sweater. he recalled getting it from taehyung and always wearing it when he was in high school. it was still just as big as it was back then, still engulfing him fully. it even still smelled like his aunt's house, like freshly baked cookies and old furniture. for a moment he actually missed that old place.

he missed his aunt but after she'd passed away he hadn't even bothered to visit her grave. the thought of talking to a tombstone and standing above a pile of bones made yoongi cringe. it made his entire face scrunch up in disgust.

"why do people die," he asked aloud to himself. "everyone that i love always dies. maybe it's a curse."

he laughed at his lighthearted joke not finding it all that amusing. first his aunt and now jungkook is following close behind and once he's gone he'd only have taehyung and hoseok, but they wouldn't be able to feel that void in his heart which jungkook would leave behind.

he swiftly left his bedroom, shaking the bad thoughts away and visited bunnykook in the spare bedroom. he'd decided to decorate it with bunny wallpaper in a blue, yellow and pink assortment. it was his little secret place where he sat and played with his bunny. his little place where he could be soft and precious. his little place that no one else knew of.

bunnykook stopped eating her food and looked up at yoongi before going back to her previous action. yoongi smiled down at the bunny, he had a soft spot for her, of course. i mean, she did remind him of jungkook.

after a while yoongi let her out of her pale pink cage and played with her. cuddling the bunny to his chest until he grew bored and placed her back into the cage leaving the door ajar as he left the room.

he continued to wait for jungkook to arrive in the lounging area and sat on his sofa as he waited impatiently. he'd been cooped up in his apartment all day sleeping for the most part and after a while he'd grown tired of sleeping and he didn't even understand how that was possible.

the strong smell of flowers entered his nose and yoongi looked over at the roses in the vase. he'd bought new roses to replace the ones that jungkook had gotten him a month or two back. they had wilted and died faster than yoongi had expected since he'd really tried to take great care of them.

yoongi sat in silence drifting off a bit before he heard his phone ringing from his bedroom. he padded to his room and saw the call from jungkook. the image of jungkook sleeping in his bed showing on the screen. he chuckled and answered the call.

"yes, kookie?"

"should i come up?" jungkook questioned on the other line.

"no, i'll be down in a minute."

"okay. hurry up, baby." jungkook yawned on the other line, "my appointment is in thirty minutes."

he ended the call as he grabbed his wallet not bothering to put on a jacket as it was spring. slipping on a pair of shoes he left the apartment locking the door behind himself.

when he'd finally gotten to the car jungkook was nearly asleep in the drivers seat, his head resting on the steering wheel. yoongi sighed before walking to the drivers side and opening the door. he tapped on jungkook's shoulder with a roll of his eyes.

"get out, dumbass. i'm driving."

jungkook nodded still half asleep sliding into the passengers seat not even bothering to get out of the car. yoongi sighed as he got comfortable in the drivers seat. he wondered how jungkook had even made it there without crashing the car, but then again that was just a jungkook thing.

yoongi looked over to the sleeping male with his head rested against the window. "no wonder jimin never lets you drive anywhere with medication in your system."

the ride to the hospital was quick and silent besides jungkook groaning from his head colliding with the window and yoongi's occasional giggle as he focused his eyes on the road.

when they'd gotten to the hospital jungkook's mood had completely depleted. he rolled his eyes at everything that was said to him by anyone. he'd even rolled his eyes at the older a few times and yoongi was sure that jungkook had absolutely no reason for said action. all he had asked was if he was feeling alright or not and that was the response he'd gotten. in all honesty, yoongi didn't particularly like jungkook's attitude so he decided to stay silent as they waited in the waiting area.

a few groans and sighs from jungkook later and the doctor finally called his name and escorted them to the back into a small room.

yoongi listened halfheartedly as the doctor asked jungkook personal questions such as if he were taking part in sexual activities, that's when everything started to go downhill. jungkook flicked his eyes toward yoongi, who couldn't help but have a light shade of pink on his pale cheeks, before rolling his eyes.

"of course not." his voice was laced with venom as he spoke those words nearly bringing yoongi to spit out a bunch of curse words and he wasn't even talking to him.

the older just turned his head and stared at the door with a frown. a whisper and scuff leaving his mouth, "fuck you."

after all the questioning came to an end the doctor moved them to another room for which they performed a ct scan. jungkook changed into a hospital gown before laying on the uncomfortable bed and being moved through the machine.

what popped up on the screen was jungkook's respiratory system but what caught yoongi by surprise was the medium sized hole in his lung. it wasn't big, it was actually quite small but he could tell that it wasn't supposed to be there.

the doctors talked amongst themselves as yoongi looked in horror. he heard words like collapse, exposure, and emphysema. the more he stared the more lightheaded he'd become and the more his throat started to burn with every breath.

yoongi quickly left the room and took a seat feeling as though he'd lose consciousness any moment. his breathing was jagged and his thoughts were wild. he didn't know that jungkook was living with half operating lungs and the more he thought about it his heart clenched and he gagged.

he wanted to cry, he really did but he knew that no good would come from shedding tears. he had to be strong with jungkook. he couldn't let him be strong all on his own. so when jungkook left the room with his clothing placed back on they both forced a smile and swallowed the lumps in their throats.

"dr. kang said that my lungs haven't improved."

yoongi only nodded before standing up taking this chance to grab a hold of jungkook's hand. he did it to reassure the both of them that everything was alright even though deep down he knew it wasn't. so once they'd gotten to yoongi's apartment jungkook was pulled into the home with no choice.

once the door had closed the older broke down as jungkook held him close, a few tears traveled down his cheeks as well. it was alright if they cried behind closed doors. it was alright if they didn't smile through all the pain when it was in the confines of those four walls. it was alright if they felt sadness.

hours later the duo found themselves cuddled together on yoongi's bed. a peaceful silence surrounded them as they closed their eyes. their grips on one another not too tight but not loose enough for either one of them to disappear.

yoongi whispered a few words into the darkness as he smiled over his shoulder to jungkook. for a moment jungkook forgot that he was the younger of the two as yoongi smiled at him with misty eyes. the night light being shown through the bedroom window and shinning over their eyes.

"i love you so fucking much, yoongi."

"i love you, too, jungkook."

🥀
i played it cool when i was scared of letting go
(there was so much symbolism in the chapter that it's almost painful)