Midoria's Heart

Midoria's Heart 14 - Love and Loss

Okay, chapter 14! Oh man, this was a hard one to write. You'll see why.

Anyway, plenty of thanks go out to all of my super-amazing fans!!!!!!!! I love you all!

Read and enjoy!

Oh, and listen to the song about halfway through, when they go back to the Great Hall. You'll know when to start.

Then you can pretty much listen to it over and over again until you finish the chapter.

______________________________________________

Chapter 14 - Love and Loss

Pain... Fear... Death.

These were the things that swirled through my brain, pressing in on me. There were so many people (so many auras I should say, as a fair number of them weren't actually people) in the castle right now. But the numbers were diminishing with every second, as the number of casualties on both sides rose higher. My skull throbbed as another one of our knights somewhere in the castle's aura flickered out, as quickly as if someone had simply turned off the light of his life.

It was all I could do to force myself to stay in this room, knowing that both Jay and Daniel were outside and fighting for their lives; greatly outnumbered by Heian. They were completely surrounded, and while I knew that they were both good fighters, it was still impossibly difficult to sit here and wait for them to come back to me.

In fact, it was hard to sit here at all, knowing that all around me people I knew - people I loved - were risking their lives to protect this kingdom. These were men with families; with wives and children, hopes and dreams... men with fears. And here they were, giving up everything for the sake of their people.

This was so frustrating! I wanted to go out there and help them, but I knew that there was nothing I could do. While today was my birthday, I was born as late as physically possible: 11:58 at night. I wouldn't get my full powers until midnight.

Right now, it was only 11:00. I still had the better part of an hour to sit here, helpless. It made me want to pull my hair out.

This was my greatest fear; my nightmares come to life before my eyes. I remember the dream I had weeks ago... a massacre in the castle. So many had been dead, and the town had been burning. Midoria had shown me the night of my birthday, but I hadn't been able to stop it. And so now, all of those people were dying.

Was it my fault?

I felt as though it was, and yet I didn't know how I could have possibly stopped this. At any rate, it was too late now. There was no going back, no changing the past. This battle was almost over, I could feel the twisted black auras of our enemies either fleeing the castle or diminishing into nothingness. From here, it seemed to me as though we had won this battle... but with how many casualties? How many had we lost? I hardly wanted to consider the question, but I knew that I would face it soon enough.

All of this passed through my head in complete silence. Lisimi sat beside me, looking at me worriedly as I used my spirit to see how we were faring in this unexpected battle.

"How are things... out there?" She asked softly.

"Not bad, but not good either. It's almost over now though." I said, closing my eyes and massaging my temples. Using spirit always took a lot out of me, especially when I concentrated for this long.

"Are you alright? Should I get Jay or Daniel?" Lis asked; her voice full of concern. I shook my head in reply, "No, don't bother. They need to worry about themselves right now, and anyway, it's not so bad." She gave me a disbelieving look, but dropped it.