Illegal is my middle name. (frerard teacher/student)

Chapter 8

Even though I'm tired, I still gotta make it up to y'all. It's also a bit..depressing. It's a bit triggering so be warned.

We walked up to my room and i set my things on the bed.

"So why were your parents fighting?" Gerard asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"They wanna get a divorce. They think that all of that is gonna 'fix' how I am. I was born with insomnia, and retrograde amnesia. Along with sleep paralysis and i have separation anxiety and depression. My dad thinks it's his fault while my mom thinks it's their marriage. My father never really accepted me as a kid and growing up. I grew up closer to my mom and he didn't really approve of that. It's a stupid reason but yeah. Anyways, they've sent me everywhere to try and get me help but they need to face that I'm not gonna get help and i don't need it. I'm fine how I am."

Gerard stays silent.

(A/n: before you read the next paragraph. Just always remember. You are wanted. You are loved. And there are so many people willing to listen to you and try and help you. I'm here for all of you, even if I don't know you all individually.)

I take a deep breath, "I've been in and out of mental hospitals. F-For...stupid reasons that, I can't find a reason to get out of bed every morning. I feel like I'm not worth that much. I can't remember what it's like to be a kid, because. I never had a childhood. Running away, isolating myself, that's what I'm used to." I look down a bit as tears fill my eyes.

"The world hates me, I feel like I shouldn't belong here...like I'm worthless, i feel like I have no purpose here. Like my life has no meaning. I'm just here, living, breathing, taking away someone's precious oxygen."

I stop talking.

"Frankie.." Gerard starts, "you are worth it, no matter what you say, and I'm here now. No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you through thick and thin. I'm going to keep you safe. I'm gonna keep you here until you need to or feel the need to go back home. I will talk to the people at school to get you to stay in my class for a while whenever you need to. I'm always gonna be here for you, Frank. If you parents aren't, I will. This is your house. Your second house. I want you to always feel like you're worth something. Like your living for something. Live for me. Live for Mikey. We're always gonna be here for you. No matter what."

Gerard grabs my hand and kisses it gently. I smile a weak smile at him. He gets up and turns off the lights, we cuddle in bed a bit until I finally sleep in his arms.

I feel safe.

Loved.

Happy.

Needed.

My life feels like it's in the palm of this man.

He likes me.

No.

Better yet.

He loves me.

The next morning will be...

Spectacular.

I'm gonna make it happen.