Star Wars Imagines

Failure (part one) | Kylo Ren

starting next week, i will not include TLJ spoiler warnings!

this does not include any TLJ spoilers.

requested by miss-eevee

//

He touched your hand softly, pulling your fingers between his. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, and for once, you believed that, because he was looking at you like no one ever had.

It was like he saw you.

It was like he cared for you.

Kylo Ren cared for you.

...

With the daily wake up call came your daily dose of anixety. You sat on the edge of your hard, small bed, listening to the sound of your roommate in the bed above you and focusing on the sound of your heartbeat.

You hated your job.

You were a high ranking officer of the First Order, and you had always assumed that assured you a lot of respect. But you were wrong. People treated you like garbage.

Especially your commander, Kylo Ren.

Which was weird, because a few months ago, you were pretty sure he loved you.

And you certainly loved him back.

And then he got injured on that fight on Starkiller Base, and you no longer meant anything to him. He treated you like nothing in front of people.

You got out of bed and dressed in your uniform. Right on time, you arrived, barking the same orders you always did, reading off the same old screens, and telling Hux the same old news.

"We're all clear, sir," you said.

Usually, he would nod. But today-

"Are we all clear?" he snapped.

"Yes-"

"Are we? Because yesterday, after your shift ended, we ended up getting minor damage to the side of the ship. We weren't all clear, as you had stated."

You felt color in your cheeks. Had you really screwed up? Everyone was staring. Even Kylo Ren, his mask off and his new scar prominent.

"I-"

"Perhaps you are not well suited for this job after all," he continued.

You looked around. Hux sneered as your eyes flickered to the commander.

Before the destruction of Starkiller, Kylo would take up for you in times like this. But now he usually ignored it.

"Oh, please don't look to him for help," he said. "Everyone knows of your mistake." He tucked his hands together behind his back. "Commander?"

Kylo Ren straightened up. "___," he said coldly, "if you aren't well suited for this job, I'll have no problem with sending you where you belong. Sanitation, maybe."

That was it. That was the last blow to your chest.

After months of him ignoring you, brushing you off, pretending he didn't see you, he was saying this. He was agreeing with Hux - and he hated Hux.

You couldn't control the tears that sprang out of your eyes. You forced your head down.

"I am sorry, Commander," you choked out, blinking rapidly. "Excuse me-" You walked away from them both, hearing a hum of satisfaction from General Hux.

You hurried out of the room and into a corridor free of stormtroopers. You fell against a wall and cried out, feeling the ache of losing a friend - the ache of losing Kylo.

What did I do wrong?

As you wiped your eyes, you heard the heavy steps of boots. You looked up and swelled with fear as you saw his scarred face, cold and unreadable. He was different, and it hurt.

"Send me to sanitation if you want," you said. "I don't care anymore."

"I didn't know you would cry," he said.

You stood up. "For the last several months, I've been treated like garbage. You used to stick up for me. Now, you treat me the same as everyone else." You scoffed. "And you wonder why I'm crying?"

He stiffened. "I thought you were stronger."

"I'm a human, Kylo." You glared at him. "The same as you. Except I wouldn't do that to anybody I once cared for."

"You no longer care for me?" he asked softly.

You stopped. "No. I do."

"Then-"

"What happened to us, Kylo? What happened to you on Starkiller? What changed?"

He clenched his hands. "I failed."

"You failed," you repeated.

"I couldn't kill the girl or the traitor," he explained. "And I didn't think I deserved to allow myself around you. Not when I had failed the Supreme Leader. I still care for you. I just didn't-"

"Enough," you cut him off. You sighed. "None of that mattered to me. The girl, the base... I didn't care. You failed me when you started treating me like this."

And with that, you left him, feeling a sickness settle in the pit of your stomach.

//

part two?