All the Reasons To Hide

Perfect Timing

I have never been happier than I am right now. Scott has come back into my life and I fully except him with open arms. It's feels so good to be in his arms once again. We are currently cuddled up on the couch in his apartment, Kirstie has her boyfriend over and they can be a little handsy if you know what I mean.
We sit on the couch, I lay on this chest and everything feels like it should. The missing piece of my life has been found and that missing piece is none other than Scott Hoying.
Suddenly my phone starts to ring from the kitchen counter, I peel myself from Scott's embrace and go to retrieve my phone. It's from the label, what the hell does he want?
"Hello?"
"Yes, Mitch? Hi so we were checking out our statistics and your new album is even more popular than the first one! Everyone is still in love with you and we would like to do another world tour. Are you interested?"
"I-"
"Great! You have a week to get everything together and be on the bus, we do have an extra bunk if you want to bring someone. Okay enjoy your night!"
"Wait sir when's our first-"
"Arlington Texas."
"Oh but I-"
"Think it's a great first stop, I KNOW. Okay I gotta go bye!"
"Wait but I-" he hung up before I could even finish my sentence. People are gonna know that I'm dating Scott. It's not like I won't ask him to come with me I mean I can't function without him. But, what's gonna happen when people see us together? What are people going to think? They're going to wonder how we met and how we came to be and I don't know if I'm ready to face this on my own. It's not like Scott understands, he's never been dead before.
I slowly put my back in his counter and go shaking back to the couch. I sit a distance away from away from Scott, wrapping my arms around myself in order to feel secure which I don't. I'm bloody fucking terrified and I don't know how to face this. I curled up on the couch and rock myself back and forth, what the hell did I get myself into? Scott sees my current situation and looks into my eyes with full concern.
"Mitch?" Immediately, i lung at him. Hugging hugging him so close to me he may not be breathing.
"Please don't ever leave me."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing! And everything at the same time. Maybe I'm just overreacting."
"What's going on baby?"
"I have to go on tour again. But the first stop is Arlington."
"Oh, well can't you change plans?"
"No! He hung up before I even got the chance. Scott I have NEVER preformed their and I never wanted to. What if someone recognizes me? What if they see right through me?!"
"I'll go with you then." As if he thinks that will be able to calm me down.
"Well OBVIOUSLY! What are you stupid? You think I could do this alone? Really? Well news flash I just got you back into my life and there is no way in hell im gonna leave for a year without you." He just looked down at me and smiled. God do I love him.
He wraps his arms around me as we make our way back to the couch, I'm not looking forward to this concert. It's coming so soon.
**************************************
The time has come and everything is packed. The bus is ready to pull out and I can say that I'm excited for this. A lot of my crew are from Texas so they have decided to prolong tour so we can stay in Texas for a few weeks. Yay........
I might just drive out to city for a little bit, just to avoid everything but I doubt Scott will agree to that. Everyone will know who I am. I can't let that happen.
Hora and hours later my nerves still haven't leveled out. I know something bad is going to happen, I can feel it in my gut. I don't want to be back here. Not even a little bit. God sometimes I wish I actually was dead-
"No you don't." I look over at Scott who has concerned plastered all over his face.
"What are you-"
"No, Mitch stop wishing you were actually dead, everything is going to be fine." Fuck I was thinking out loud.
"But you can't guarantee that! I just have a really bad feeling about this. If I had died then none of this would have happened. I just want to be dead."
"Mitch can you stop! You're scaring me!"
"I'm scaring myself! I just feel so anxious I don't know what to do. Then all these bad thoughts crowd my brain and I-"
"Those never went away huh?"
"Never. And no matter how many times I try they won't, no bully could make me feel worse about myself than I already do." He looks at me straight in the eyes and stalks over to me. Kissing me on the lips and wrapping me up in his arms.
"I won't let anybody ever hurt you Mitch." And I believed him. Not so sure I should have.

We arrive in Arlington and I have almost no time to do anything, straight into makeup and wardrobe before I have to be ready for warm ups. All I can think is that everything will be okay. The bullies at school never really liked my type of music, so there is no reason that I will even come face to face with them. Alright, it's go time.
Right before I am about to go on stage a preform Scott runs up to me, giving me a good luck peck on the cheek.
"Where have you been?"
"With your parents."
"My what?! Scott, no i can't. You didn't."
"I didn't. But we can talk about this later. Break a leg baby." And with that he pushes me out onto the stage.
For awhile I don't even notice that i am in front of a crowd. All I'm focusing on is singing. I get through almost every song when I walk up to the crowd to give them the celebrity high five type thing. People grab onto me and scream my name. That's when I saw him, Alex. Not just Alex, Alex and his friends. All singing praises in the front row. I continue on with my music until I reach them. Alex sends me a smirk when I look over at him, I doubt that meant anything. I'm finding it hard to control my breathing once again. I begin to feel dizzy as panic rises up my throat. I lower my mic and immediately stop singing, frozen in place. I can barley move, my feet like rock and boulders are holding them to the floor frozen in place. I can barley move, I Can no longer tell what is what and where is where. When it all becomes too much for me I sprint off stage. Crying, I tell the crew that I'm not finishing the concert and that i need to find Scott.
A wave of nausea hits me like a brick to the head and I sprint for the bathroom emptying out all the contents that are in my stomach.
I am currently curled up in the bathroom sobbing. It's been two years and I still can't face them. Suddenly Scott appears in the door way. He walks over to me and pulls me into his lap, stroking my hair in a soothing way.
"I'm sorry Scott, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't face it."
"I know baby and that's okay. It'll take time and until then you've got me."
"Stop being mushy! I don't need that!" I yell as I try to break free from his embrace. It doesn't works cause he pulls me right back in. Hugging my tighter.
"God I'm such a fuck up."
"Stop saying that about yourself! You went through a traumatic experience and nobody is judging you for that." We stay in this position until I finally am able to calm myself down. We stand up and Scott looks deeply into my eyes like he wants to tell me something.
"I think we should talk to your parents."
Perfect timing Scott. Seriously, perfect fucking timing.