atmosphere g.d. [complete]

1.0

december 31st

not afraid anymore 💌 halsey

we had this tradition to play mini golf on the last day of the year twins vs sisters, usually, me and kaia win because let's be honest, we are the queens of mini golf.

it was my turn to choose the song in the car, i pressed the song on spotify and started singing, my voice wasn't in the normal tone, i was doing a high pitched voice, mocking myself, when in reality the lyrics were affecting me a lot.i looked at grayson and my stomach felt a little squeeze, his hair was messy and his tight tee showed his muscles, was he not cold? i'm pretty sure i have a hoodie and a parka over it, i looked through the window and kept singing, except not that loud anymore.

kaia and ethan we're snuggled in the backseat while i chose another song, taking kaia's turn, easy love by lauv, i loved this song, it was how i felt about love, i could be happy but i kept on complicating stuff, i kept on complicating my relationship with grayson.

as soon as we arrived at the park where the golf camp, i saw so many kids, it felt like being young and 10 again and run after grayson to be the first one playing. good times.

"ori can you please pay attention to me? i'm trying to tell you something" kaia said worriedly. "uh? i'm sorry! what were you saying?" kaia was about to speak but ethan pulled her close to kiss her, making me smile at them.

while we were playing my hormones were all over the place, was he doing this on purpose? he kept flexing his muscles and looking at me with his big hazel eyes, i played right after him failing completely, wait a minute, was he distracting me so he could win? this gave me an idea. i flipped my hair to the side and bent down enough to give a proper view of my booty.

he failed the next hole.

and the other one.

and the other one.

i giggled and kept doing what i was doing because it was obviously working, not long enough his body hugged mine from behind, and his lips were attached to my neck, did he really wanted to do it in a mini golf camp with children around? most likely yes, but who am i to say no when i want him just as bad? i turned around and kissed him, his hands reached my waist and pulled me closer to him, making me feel the bulge starting to show in his jeans, god this was so so so so so so so so so wrong.

in my mind not afraid anymore by halsey was playing, i needed him.

i need him.

when i noticed we were in a bathroom stall, his body was against the door and his lips attached to mine, his sloppy hair was all in front of his eyes, i delicately remove it and press our foreheads together, "grayson are you sure you want to do this here?" i asked feeling a little nervous about the whole situation.

"do you want to stop?" he looked at me and put my body back on the ground, i looked down and whispered sorry, his arms wrapped my body once again and we stood there for quite a while, i needed this, i didn't need his body or sex, i needed his reassurance, i needed his love.

and i am so in love

🏹☕️

me and bailey were texting while watching fifty shades of grey, honestly i didn't find the film that special, but i knew it would make bailey horny, as much as i was.

i hated being horny, i felt so out of my own body like i can't control my thoughts or my body, i hated it, but bailey loved seeing me like this, weak and all his. but was i really all
his? STOP OVERTHINKING ORIANA.

jupitersexual: i wish you were here so i could destroy your pink p*ssy
moonsblue: fu*k bailey, pay attention to the movie
jupitersexual: sorry baby, but i'm so needy right now
moonsblue: do you need me?
jupitersexual: i fucking need you.
moonsblue: tell me how bad you need me
jupitersexual: holy, ana, i want you on top of me, riding me so i can see your pretty face all blushed, i want to make you scream my name, f*ck ana i want you to tell me how badly you want me to fu*k you until you can't walk
moonsblue: wow
jupitersexual: you should see my c*ck right now
moonsblue: should i?
jupitersexual: i'm sending a pic

my thoughts were distracted by my dad and mum screaming in their bedroom, i immediately felt bad, how could i be so interested in sex when my family was breaking apart? i got up and swallowed my tears, knocking softly on their bedroom.

jupitersexual sent an attachment

i ignored his message and waited for my parents to open the door, my mum opened it and hugged me as soon as she saw my tiny body waiting for them, a few seconds later my father joined the hug, i was a bit lost why were both of them hugging me this tight. at 2am.

"honey, why didn't you tell us your depression was worse? we just found our your twitter" my mum cried looking at me with a sad expression.

what the hell was going on?

"who the fuck gave you my private twitter? don't u fucking know the meaning of private? i'm never talking to you ever again, i hate you!" the words spilled out of my mouth and i regretted them as soon as i said them, i ran to my room and tried to control the urge i had to hurt myself.

i unlocked my phone and saw tumblr 1, and i pressed it, i needed some consolation and i knew bailey would be here.

he always was.

i clicked on his messages and the picture he sent was popping out, i blushed and opened it.

no.. it couldn't be.

🏹💭
hello!!!! i've been on a writing's block but i hope it'll pass
love u
see u soon 💌
🏹maggie