A downword spiral

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My life is a series of strictly highs and lows. My highest points were always less pronounced and less in length than my lows. My highs are unimaginable love and my lows and the most painful parts of my. My lows are what rule my mind and restrict me. I want freedom but I don't work hard enough for it. It is the low days that sufferers must fight the hardest to achieve freedom from the evil clutches of depression and anxiety. I feel I am going up some days until I hit a downward spiral that crushes my soul. The highs no longer make me happy because I realize that it will soon become my greatest lows. I want freedom but I am in shackles. I'm a prisoner to my own mind. I am torn apart by my every characteristic because I no longer like being me. It's a pain greater than any physical pain. The pain of hating yourself enough to end it all is the worst pain. This pain controls me, but I must break free. 

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