resplendent *gawsten* ✓

Chapter Eleven

1.19.18
edit: 8.23.20
tw; self-harm
333 words

geoff p.o.v.

all week while awsten was shut up in his room, i could hear him in his studio at night. i could always hear music, and very rarely i could hear him singing along.

tonight was thursday. he had been isolating himself for a week. he avoided otto and i at all costs. he didn't even come out for his heb orange juice he texted me to go get.

i couldn't hear any music coming from above me at all. it made me worried. as i got out of bed, i listened closely for any sign he was up there.

i slowly opened his bedroom door and looked inside. he wasn't anywhere to be seen. his closet door wasn't open either, meaning he wasn't even in his studio. "angel, where are you?" i muttered to myself.

it was then that i noticed his top dresser drawer was open. his shoes were next to my feet, so i knew he didn't run off.

i ran around the house as quietly as i could. as i ran past the bathroom, i heard a sob. i fell when i tried to stop right outside the bathroom door. i scrambled to stand and rapped lightly on the wooden surface. "awsten, baby, is that you?" 

"g-g-go a-aw-away!" 

i knew something was terribly wrong because he never told me that. "awsten, open the door."

"n-no! dir-dirty, don't w-want you-you seein' me..." he cried.

this confused me. "dirty? baby, if you're needing to take a shower, you can just tell me that."

"c-c-an't..."

"what do you mean,  you can't? do you need my help?"

"n-no...d-dirt-irty..."

"do you want me to go get up otto?" i threatened. "because i will, and you know i will."

i tested the door knob without waiting for his reply. it opened, much to my relief, but when i saw him, i instantly started crying. he had his shirt pulled up, but that's not what i saw.

new cuts littered his belly.