resplendent *gawsten* ✓

Chapter Fifteen

1.25.18
edit 8.23.20
tw; mention of abuse, mention of self-harm

628 words

awsten p.o.v

today we were going to file for a restraining order on him. i doubted that was necessary because he was already in jail. otto and geoff insisted for it. i grudgingly agreed because i knew they wouldn't get off my back about it.

geoff didn't sit in the backseat with me. i started to feel panicky and doubtful about his love for me. i squirmed in my seat on the way to the police station.

i held geoff's hand tightly as we walked in. our officer looked up from his desk and greeted us with smeared affectation. i said nothing about it because my boys didn't seem to notice it.

"what can we do for you boys today?" he asked as we sat in the two chairs in front of his desk. i sat in geoff's lap, ignoring a stare or two from passersby officers, criminals, and teary-eyed victims or witnesses.

"we would like to file a restrainin' order for awsten, against his dad." otto said.

the officer's eyebrows furrowed. "but he's in jail as we speak."

i shook my head. when he's out, he'll come after me, i signed. otto translated with a frown.

the officer nodded slowly. "so...what you're sayin' is, you want him out of your life for good?"

realisation struck me like lightning. it was never the police's intentions to separate me from him. they planned to have us work it out.

"d-do you have any idea what-what he fu-fuckin' did t-to me?" i hissed. geoff jumped and i nearly fell off his lap. i could sense otto's shock beside us. the officer's stoic expression hardened a little when i swore. "do-do you know what it-it's like to-to wake up in the-in the middle of the-of the night sc-scarin' the-the thought-the thought of ki-kissin' razors? or-or what i-it feels like to be terrified of ever-everythin'? he-he hates me. i-i don't want him t-to hurt me any-n'more..." i whimpered as my red, hot tears trickled down my pallid cheeks.

geoff kissed my neck softly and squeezed my hand. the officer stared down at his desk for a really long time.

otto cleared his throat uncomfortably. "can we file a restrainin' order?" he asked again.

ask him, i signed. my throat hurt from nearly yelling, and so much. he'll own up to it. if he gets recognition for hurting me, he'll jump at the first chance.

"wait here." the officer said after another long pause. he got up and disappeared around the corner.

geoff rubbed my thigh. i tried not to stiffen as he did. "i'm so proud of you, daffodil." he said. "you're making progress."

"is that your first verbal swear?" otto asked. i shrugged. probably not, i signed.

we were silent for a few minutes. we were surrounded by typing, crying, strategy-talk and more as geoff traced shapes into my leg, sending yellow-lilac chills throughout my body.

the officer came back with a disturbed look on his face. he scratched the back of his neck with rotten cantaloupe orange flowing around him as he sat down.

"well, i guess you get your restrainin' order." he said as he got out some papers from his desk.

"what did he say?" geoff asked. 

the officer shook his head. "it was too morbid. i can't believe the audacity he had to say half of what he did in there."

i stomach did a flip. geoff and otto didn't protest as i got off my boyfriend's lap and rushed to the bathroom. an officer gave me a curious look as i slammed the stall door shut and locked it. i fell to my knees and tried to remind myself to take deep breaths.

there was still a long ways for me to go before i was finally free.