"Kurt, 'but' what?"

493 18 1
                                    

         Kurt unlocked his front door and strode in. He walked up to his bedroom and got comfy on his bed. Blaine followed closely behind Kurt up to his room. 

        "Come cuddle with me." Kurt demanded as he turned around and saw Blaine walk over the threshold. Blaine walked over to Kurt and they sat down on the bed, Kurt laying down and pulling Blaine with him. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt in a protective hold. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to Kurt's hair, but Kurt dodged it and pressed their lips together. After about 5 minutes of a slow passionate kiss, Kurt opened his mouth to permit Blaine's tongue enterance. Kurt uttered a soft, aroused moan as Blaine sucked his bottom lip. Kurt rolled over so he was atop of Blaine. Blaine stuck his tongue back into Kurt's mouth and felt a small metal stud on Kurt's tongue. He'd make sure to mention that later. Kurt began pulling Blaine's shirt up in an aroused haze and Blaine followed suite, wholly forgetting about the tongue ring. When...

        "Ahem, Kurt? Blaine?" A deep, familiar voice said.Kurt and Blaine scrambled up fix themselves. Kurt looked up to see who interrupted their fun. Finn.

        "Blaine, I want to talk to Kurt. Alone."

        "He doesn't have to leave, you don't live here anymore. "Kurt said before Blaine could open his mouth.

        "Kurt, it's fine," Blaine said getting off of the bed, "I should get going anyway. I have to talk to my parents about moving back up here, to Lima. Good to see you Finn." And with that, he walked out the door.

        "Bla--ugh! Do you like chasing people's boyfriends away?"

        "Kurt, we need to talk."

        "I have nothing to say to you." Kurt rolled his eyes.

      "Burt told me everything. Kurt you need to stop. I love you. I love you, Kurt, you're my baby brother."

        "First of all, I'm a year, two months and 28 days older than you, and second of all, define 'everything'."

        Finn told Kurt what Burt had told him which really was everything.

        "Kurt, you have to stop. If you make one wrong move you could--could...die."

        "I know where to cut so I don't kill myself," Kurt rolled his eyes.

        "Kurt, I know how you feel. I felt the same way when...Rachel...left. She isn't coming back, Blaine did, I mean, yeah, sure, she visi--"

        "Woah, back up! Rachel left?" Finn nodded and tried to continue, but was interjected by Kurt.

        "Finn, you have no idea what I went through or what I'm going through, so shut the hell up. I started getting bullied again. I, once again, don't fit in, but..." Kurt trailed off.

        "Kurt, 'but' what?"

        "But you don't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night. Scaring the thought of kissing razors. This blood evacuation is telling me to cave in."

        "What does that mean?"

        "It means that what I do is what helps me cope. I used to wake up in the middle of the night just to tear open my skin. The blood trailing down my arm calms me a little and I do it some more until I'm thoroughly calm." Tears rolled down Kurt's cheeks

        "Kurt,I'm sorry I shouldn't have pushed you to ta--"

        "Just go!" Kurt screamed, scaring Finn. Finn complied and left. Kurt sank down on his bed.

        How come right when I'm happy Finn always manages to ruin it? Cutting was, for once, the farthest thing from my mind! I was truly happy!

No, Kurt, you're strong! 

I have to! It's calling me

For Blaine!

He won't  know! Just once! I have to release my anger!

Fine, once...

        Kurt's fight with himself was no use.

        One cut. He watched the blood drip down.

        This is for all of those assholes.

        Another.

        Another.

        Another.

        He watched the rivers of blood run down his arm. He got up and walked to the bathroom clean up his arm and razor. He realized his razor was getting duller and he didn't want jagged, risen scars so he deposited in the wastebin and walked over to his desk. He pulled out a brand new, handheld pencil sharpener and tore it open. He pulled out  it's only content. He unscrewed the razor and put it on his bedside table. Once it was hidden from immediate view he walked downstairs to the kitchen and got out a glass and vodka along with a wine cooler, he didn't want to burn his throat. Especially since he knew he would either be crying or talking to Blaine. He mixed is drink and walked up to his room when something glinted out of the corner of his eye. He walked over to the end table near the couch to find a pack of cigarettes. He picked them up and examined them. They weren't open and he was open to new experiences.He went back out to the kitchen and searched a junk drawer for  a lighter. Once he found one he walked walked to the back porch, drink in hand, where he knew he wouldn't get caught.

        Kurt sat in a white lawn chair. He set his drink down and opened the cigarettes. He placed one into his mouth and set the lighter to blaze it. He inhaled, held it for a minute,  then exhaled. He liked it. He finished his cigarette and drink and just chilled for a moment. He nearly fell asleep when he heard a knock at the door.

A/N PLEASE READ-------------NOOOO KURT STOP!!!!!!!!!!! 

QUOTE OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!

"Smoking doesn’t help even when you think it does."--Unknown

Nothing Without YouWhere stories live. Discover now