"They would yell, they would scream they were fighting it out. She would hope she would pray she was waiting it out. Holding on to a dream while she's watching these walls fall down."
I watched as my parents began screaming at each other for the 4th time this evening. I just wish everything would get better. I wish we could go back to how we were nearly a year ago.
I know they're going to get a divorce eventually but I'm praying none of that is going to happen. 4 times a day 7 days a week. That many times I have to watch these walls that were once full of happy photos fall down. Nothing's gonna be the same. Never.
"Sharp words like knives they were cutting her down. Shattered glass like the past it's a memory now, holding on to a dream while she's watching these walls fall down."
There was a strong pain in my heart and you might as well stab me with the sharpest knife you can find. There was shattered glass everywhere and my mind flashed back to what happened a few months ago. It feels like a memory that's never going to go away.
I want everything to go back to the way it was..The way we were. Happy, living in a great house full of our favourite photos and the walls which felt secure and peaceful but I know they're just going to become bald and with the way they're treating it the walls will eventually fall and the house will be nothing. Cold and lonely.
"Hey mom, hey dad when did this end where did you lose your happiness? I'm here alone inside of this broken home. Who's right who's wrong who really cares? The fault the blame the pains still there I'm here alone inside of this broken home."
I just want..I need to know where their happiness went. I've never felt so alone in my entire life, being an only child sucks at the moment. Why do they constantly need to fight over the most simplest things? Who cares if either of them is right or wrong? We all makes mistakes in life doesn't mean we have to argue with people 24/7.
The pain inside of me is still there and being at home right now.. What's the point in being here anyway? It's broken. After 35 years of my parents being married and many years of me being on earth I've never had to live inside of a broken home. This broken home.
"Wrote it down on the walls she was screaming it out made it clear she's still here are you listening now? Just a ghost in the halls feeling empty they're vacant now."
I sat vandalising on the wall trying to make my parents notice me. While they're too busy arguing it's like I'm just a ghost and I'm nonexistent in their life. I'm trying so hard to make it clear I'm still here. I'm still their daughter no matter but, no matter what I do they won't listen.
They never will. Who'd listen to me right? I'm just a ghost to them. It's hopeless. They have no interest in me and they probably won't until the day I die.
"All the battles all the wars, all the times that you've fought she's a scar she's the bruises she's the pain that you brought. There was life there was love like a light and it's fading out"
With all the battles going on between my parents seeming like it's created a new war between them they've never realised the pain they've put me in. There was a life that had so much love in it. A life where we all got on once and they were in love.
The lights fading out now and it's never coming back. The lights going and soon it'll be nonexistent no matter how much we need it to come back- how much I need it to come back. The light made me happy.
"Hey mom, hey dad when did this end where did you lose your happiness? I'm here alone inside of this broken home. Who's right who's wrong who really cares? The fault the blame the pains still there I'm here alone inside of this broken home"
Was it my fault? Are they blaming me for everything that's going on or am I blaming myself? Where did my mom and dad lose their happiness..? Life was like a fairytale and I've never wanted anything to be different.
The pain I feel everyday I know they're blaming me. I can hear them at night.
"She's ruined it Y/D/N! Our stupid daughter is the reason your fucked up in the head." What did I do wrong..? That's another reason they fight over who's right and wrong because he'll disagree until she loses it. I don't wanna be inside of this broken home anymore but I have nowhere to go.
"You've gotta let it go, you're losing all your hope nothing left to hold locked out in the cold you painted memories that washed out all the scenes. I'm stuck in between a nightmare and lost dreams"
I left. I walked outside and that was it, the door got locked and here I was stranded outside my door will all the memories being washed away. I could see inside that the arguing stopped and the wall- everything I wrote was being washed.
The only memories I had left had been washed out and I feel like this is either a nightmare or lost dreams. I know it's all a nightmare it has to be, nobody dreams of things like this.
"Hey mom, hey dad when did this end where did you lose your happiness? I'm here alone inside of this broken home
Hey mom, hey dad when did this end where did you lose your happiness? I'm here alone inside of this broken home"
"I'm here alone inside of this broken home.. Who's right? Who's wrong? Who really cares anyway..? The fault and the blame leaves me in pain. The pains still there and it's going to be there for a very long time. I'm here alone inside of this broken home" I whispered to myself taking a deep breathe.
"This broken home.."
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Whelp..this was really bad but I feel like doing some song preferences for awhile! Hope you enjoyed this xx
