Im sorry (nash grier and cameron dallas)

Ch 13

I woke up to screaming from Cameron he was smashing things onto the ground. I got up and ran to the living room.

"What the fuck is going on!"

"What the fuck is going on?"he said in a mocking voice

"Would you like to explain to me why Nash keeps asking you to go on dates with him and how he sends you nudes every now and then! huh!" he yelled

"What are you talking about I don't talk to Nash! And if he keeps asking me to go on dates it's because he likes me but guess what I say no because I like you! fucking cam he doesn't send me nudes and he only sent me one shirtless picture that's it!" I yelled back

"Bullshit that's all bullshit if your going to cheat on me and have sex with me you should just leave!" cameron said

"Fuck you cameron, I knew you were a fake you just wanted me in bed your such a fucking bully! and if you haven't realized I actually liked you." I cried

"We never had sex" he pointed out

I gathered all if my things and put them by the door. I put my shoes on and I was ready to walk out the door I turned back and saw Cam sitting on the couch with his back toward me. I could hear sniffling.

"Hey Cameron." I said

He turned and looked at me. he was crying. ugh seeing him like this breaks me. As I looked at him I said in a whisper.

"I didn't cheat on you because I'm not like that I would never do that to you cuz I know how it feels."

With that I turned and heard him sobing. I walked out the door and slammed it shut.

I got in my car and just though why didn't he come after me. does he not like me? God I'm so stupid I actually though we had something.

*****

I walked up the stairs to my room and and shut it. I was alone and cold. my mom wasn't getting home until 7 pm. I leaned against my door and let my body slide down to the ground.

I cried. I cried so hard. why was he being so mean. it's not like I had sex with Nash. Cameron only wanted my in his bed. Even though we didn't actually have sex he wanted it I know it. Im so stupid I actually thought he cared, he even helped me stop self harming, for a time. but now I feel worse than before when he bullied me I feel worthless, slutty, fat. he tricked me into believing I was beautiful.

"FUCK YOU CAMERON!" I yelled

I got up and undressed myself. I grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. I stopped at the door and looked back at my desk. I walked towards it and opened that one drawer I promised Cameron I would never open again. I got out the little black box, opened it and grabbed the newest blade.

I shut the bathroom door and locked it. I took a quick shower and then started my bath.

I got into the warm bath and sat there and though about cameron and all the pain that I didn't feel. I was numb to everything because of my history of being bullied.

I picked up the blade and put it against my skin.

It was cold.

I dragged the pice of metal in thin lines making beads of blood visible.

I stopped after 24 cuts. they were not that deep but they were deep enough to scar. I but my arm in the bath water. it burned like a motherfucker but it was the only thing I wasn't numb to.

I got out of the bathroom and put my blade away.

I put on my black jeans and a long sleeve shirt and brushed my hair. I sat on my stool in front on my vanity and got out my old makeup.

Black eyeliner, mascara, dark eyeshadow. dark red lipstick.

After applying all of that makeup. I felt like I was the old me again. I blow dried my hair and teased it in some places and let it loose. I put my bangs in the front to cover my face. I painted my nails black and put my combat boots on.

I grabbed my phone and my bag and headed out the door.

I'm going to go for a walk to the park. try to clear my head a little bit.