Winging It: The Pregnancy ~ {A Rizzoli & Isles Fanfic}

A Tragedy

Maura and I were always close. We never used to be; however, when is was going undercover as a prostitute, she didn't exactly leave a good first impression with me. When we started working together, we got to know each other a little better and became the best of friends. We've done everything together ever since.

As I held her hand throughout her c-section, I realized how close we actually were. We rely on each other for most of the shit life throws at us. Maura is my best friend and it means so much to me that she would want me there during her delivery.

When they got the baby out, they held him up above the curtain so Maura and I could see him. He was the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. And the best thing about him- he looked exactly like his mother. With these big, gorgeous hazel eyes, he was an exact replica of Maura. He was four pounds, four ounces and thirteen inches long. Even though they had to take him immediately away from Maura for testing, I could see how happy she was. On this day, May 6, 2013, Dr. Maura Dorthea Isles became the mother of a beautiful baby boy.

Her happiness didn't last long, when the doctor explained to her that her son not only had Spina Bifida, but he was also suffering from Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I saw the pain in Maura's eyes as she heard this news. Life certainly isn't fair, but all I knew is that at this moment in her life, it is extremely important that I'm here for her. Like I asked before, why can't this woman just have one piece of good news?

They sent her into recovery as the baby went into this special ICU that specialized with infants. Maura was able to hold him one day, but it wasn't for very long. Although, it was long enough for me to snap a quick picture of them and post it on Facebook. I'm awfully glad I took that picture- I didn't know how much she might've needed it.

A couple days later, when Maura was finally able to walk again, she and I took a trip to the nursery to see her son. She decided to name him Jacob Matthew Isles, Jake for short. He's my little man- getting stronger everyday just like his mommy.

When we walked up to the window of the nursery, I pointed at a bassinet that was labeled "J.M.I."

"There he is," I told her.

Maura didn't look happy to see her son. Tears began to overflow from her waterline. I asked her why she was so sad and her response was, "I can't see him like this."

"Like what, Maur?"

"With a tube down his throat and wires all over his poor, defenseless body. With the heart monitor hooked up on his chest."

I couldn't find any words to reply with. My best friend's heart is shattering right in front of me and I just don't know what to say. Giving her a big hug, I kissed her forehead and whispered, "It'll be alright."

She kissed her fingertips and gently tapped the glass in front of Jake's bassinet. Turning to me, she demanded, "I want to go back to my room."

"Alright, let's go," I told her before we slowly walked back to her room. It was depressing to see the way she just sat on her bed. She plopped down as if her entire body shut off. God, I hated seeing her so upset. It's not normal for Dr. Maura Isles to be this sad. She was more vulnerable than ever right now and she needed my comfort.

"I'll stay right here if you need me," I told her.

"Thank you Jane." I just smiled at her and she changed the subject, asking, "How are you feeling? It's getting closer."

"Don't worry about me, Maur. Just focus on what's going on with you right now."

"Jane, please, I need to get my mind off of it," she begged me. I took a deep breath and replied, "Alright. I felt the baby move the other day."

She smiled at me. The first smile I've seen on her face ever since she saw Jacob for the first time. She said, "Oh, you did? Jane that's--"

Her sentence was cut short by a man's voice over the load speaker. He had an extremely deep voice as he made an announcement, There was a siren going off as he calmly spoke, "We have a code pink, again we have a code pink."

Maura immediately stood up from her bed and dodged towards the door. I stood up from my seat and asked, "Where are you going?"

She turned around to face me and I saw tears streaming down her face. Not being able to speak, she whimpered, "I...the...ca...pi..."

"Calm down, Maura. What's going on?" I asked her.

Instead of responding with words, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the nursery. She walked very fast as we reached our destination. She pointed at the window.

"That's what's going on!" she hollered.

As I looked through the window, I saw her son being handled by several doctors and nurses.

"Maura, I don't understand what's going on."

She turned to me with sorrow and hurt in her eyes. "Code pink is when there is a cardio-respiratory arrest in an infant, toddler, or child," she explained.

"So..." I hesitated as I looked through the window at Baby Jake. I've never seen anyone perform CPR on an infant before. It wasn't too long after before we saw the color wash out of the baby's face. He turned pale blue faster than we could blink. The doctor backed away from him and covered her face with the palms of her hands. I saw her rub her eyes as if she knew she messed up. The nurse walked over to her and asked her something. When I saw her shake her head no, I grabbed Maura and pulled her into a hug.

She screamed into my chest before she let go and backed up against the wall, sliding down to the ground. She buried her head into her knees and began sobbing even harder than before. I bent down and started rubbing circles on her back as tears began to fall from my eyes.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Maur-," I whispered as I rested my head down onto her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her. I didn't know what else to say.