Senseless Love

Chapter 14

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I don't remember falling asleep. After what Alex told me my mind was in a whirlwind of emotions. Soon staring into the blank space of his room lit by faint moonlight my eyelids closed, pulling me under the spell of slumber.

Now here I am, laying on his bed, cocooned in the warmth of his chest protecting me from the wintry breeze flowing through the still open window. Despite the chill my body flames with heat. Never have I ever shared a bed with a boy before. Yes a past boyfriend tried to cop a feel when we were alone in his room but I quickly put an end to that once I knew what his intentions were.

I'll admit I was close to going all the way with him but looking back I knew I didn't want to give my virtue away on a guy like him, it didn't feel right. I knew it would of been a fuck and dumb situation, and when he went out and bedded another girl the same night I broke up with him I knew I made the right decision.

But now, being spooned from behind by Alex it feels far more intimate than anything with my ex ever did. Thus the flames scorching my cheeks. He may not be able to see it but I can feel my nipples harden from the cold outdoors. My choice in comfort last night now comes as a slap to the face as I can clearly see two well defined nubs jutting from my chest. I've never felt more embarrassed in my life even though there is nobody to see what's happening.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by a low groan behind me making me take notice as Alex's body stretches itself awake.

"Fuck it's cold in here" he mumbles rubbing the sleep from his face.

"Sorry, I forgot to close the window last night"

Completely startled he falls off the side of his full sized bed, landing half on the floor as his feet are still stuck in the covers.

"Alex!" Rushing out of bed I try to untangle him so he can stand up. We manage to get one foot out before I freeze. Last night it was to dark to see anything but now his chest is on full display to the morning sun. Faint white lines riddle his torso spanning to his shoulder and thinning out up his neck to his eyelids where a few scars lay across his skin showing exactly where his eyes would have been slashed.

"What are you doing here?!" The anger in his tone snaps me back to reality. Now free of his confinement he uses it as a shield across his body, scrunching his eyes tight while his free hand grabs his sunglasses, placing them on his face, blocking my view once more. "I never asked you to stay, get out!"

Swallowing the lump growing in my throat I meekly whisper "sorry. I fell asleep." before booking it out the window, wiping a tear from my cheek as I sprint across the snow covered ground back to my house for a warm shower.

I should of known better. It was only a moment of weakness from his nightmare that had him open up to me. We aren't friends. He doesn't trust me enough to be comfortable exposed, emotionally or physically, no matter how small. What I thought could be a building block making us closer just might be the wrecking ball that ruins it all.

Is friendship really to much to ask? It seems every time I get a step forward with progress, something comes and puts me two steps back with him. Are all my efforts in vain?

After staying in the shower so long the water starts to cool I finally emerge out, none the wiser. Toweling off I dawn a bathrobe and listening to the padding of my feet as I walk back to my room trying to ring out as much water as I can from my hair.

Pulling out a fresh pair of underwear and a bra I hear my parents respond to a knock on the front door before calling out I have a visitor. Figuring it's probably one of the girl I yell back to send them to my room. Just as I'm struggling to do up the clasp behind my back I hear the door open and ask for help.

"Hey can you help me with my bra? I can never do it up." Still expecting to find Emily or Lizzie at my door I manage to suppress my startled screech as somebody I never expected to show up stands there instead.