Steam (Kleinsen)

Evan

I ran straight for the tallest tree in the forest. A stream flowed near it, creating the perfect amount of white noise. Staring up at it, I smiled widely. This was the tree of my childhood. It was littered with ice spikes that I never destroyed. It was quite beautiful. I sat down and leaned my head against the tree. More spikes grew out of it, but I paid no mind. I was content with the world. Connor sat right next to me, admiring the shards. little did he know I was admiring him.

"It's beautiful." Connor said. "The tree. I love how you kept the spikes. Makes it seem so unique." He paused. "Kind of like you." I blushed lightly. "You don't really mean that." Connor didn't answer. He simply smiled at me. I didn't need an answer. "You know, I really like being in places like this." Connor said after about ten minutes of silence. "I can really connect to my suroundnings."

"I totally agree." I said in a laid-back tone. I closed my eyes and turned my palms face up. Water from the stream began to creep around the tree, swirling in the air. The trail of water laced right through my fingers as I stretched them out more. I smiled, leading the water back to the stream. I opened my eyes, releasing the pressure I'd applied to my palms. Connor slowly turned to face me, his expression completely relaxed. "Beautiful." he said simply. We stared into each others eyes for a while. I was lost in them.

"I want to climb the tree." I suddenly blurted out. Connor chuckled. "Okay." I grasped onto the first branch and began climbing. Once I looked down, I was already around fifty feet in the air. I couldn't see Connor anymore. The scene suddenly became all too familiar. My breathing quickened, and I stumbled a bit, leaning onto the trunk of the tree. What was I doing? Why was I back here? Who even was Connor? I'd only just met him yesterday. I didn't know him. Why did the ground seem so far away? Why was I walking towards the end of the branch? Why didn't I care about my feet slipping?

Why was I falling?

The world seemed to stop. I was suspended in mid air, a blank expression on my face. All I see is sky. My hair stopped flowing, frozen in time. I had fallen. Fallen from the tree. Fallen for Connor. But why? What did Connor have that I wanted? Was I even willing to come to terms with my bisexuality? No. So I fell. No. I let go. Let go of life. Let go of my problems. Who would care? My mom didn't notice me. Connor only jut met me. Jared... Even after just one day with him I feel like I've known him for a lifetime. Why? I didn't know. So I let go of my troubles. My past. Everything. I let go.

It made no sense, my feelings for anything anymore. Why had I fallen for Connor so quickly? Why did I suddenly feel so alone. It was all going so fast. Too fast. I suddenly wanted no part of it anymore. So I let go.

My arm crumpled under my body like an accordion. I waited for death. Where was it? Why was I still alive? I didn't get it. I didn't understand. So I screamed. I screamed so loudly I shattered the ice frozen on the tree. Tears slipped out of my eyes, warm and wet. Why did it hurt so much? Why was I alive? I briefly opened my eyes to see Connor by my side. He picked me up. "Everything will be alright."

"Everything will be alright."

And everything's suddenly okay.