Cheska's Note [SOON TO BE PUBLISHED]

P R O L O G U E

"JESO, LAYUAN MO NA LANG AKO," I pleaded but his answer is always no. How can I convince this man to let me go?

"No, Cheska! You are more than her! Alam mo bang nasasaktan ako sa tuwing may kasama kang iba?" he murmured.

"So, all this time you are just playing? And you are the player in this game, aren't you?" I exclaimed.

He suddenly paused. Hindi kaagad siya nakasagot sa mga tanong ko. Mahirap para sa akin na tanungin siya ng ganyan pero mas mahirap para sa aking ipagpatuloy pa ang mga ginagawa niya sa akin. He is so special to me.

"Now Jeso, stay away from me! You are no longer part of my story. You are selfish!" I shouted at him.

"Naging makasarili ako, oo. Pero alam mo ba kung bakit? Dahil mahal kita!" paliwanag nito.

"I shut out my friends. I ignored and almost forgot them because of you!" he said while the tears that glistened from his eyes flowed freely.

"I didn't ask you to do that!" I shouted again. I know, he really wanted me to feel guilty.

"Love doesn't make you happy because the real reason why you are loving a person is to experience the pain," bulong ko sa hangin.

Does love really give you happiness? Or does love want you to experience the pain?

Ako si Cheska Arlton and that's how I really define love. Malayo pa ang mararating ng kabataan kaya hindi ako naniniwala sa sinasabing, 'Ang kabataan ang susi sa kaunlaran,' dahil ang simpleng pagmamahal ay hindi na nila alam kontrolin. Marami ang nabubuntis for love's sake. Ang pagmamahal ang sisira sa kinabukasan ng kabataan dahil kaya nitong paikutin ang mundo gamit ang mabubulaklak na salita.

Alam kong magagalit ang iba sa akin dahil hindi ako naniniwala sa pagmamahal. Kumbaga 'bitter' ako kung tawagin. I don't really hate love but I really hate the one who commits to love. Sila ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Hindi na lingid sa kaalaman ng iba ang pinagdaanan ko noon, pero hindi iyon ang sukatan para husgahan ako. Hindi nag-e-exist sa akin ang salitang iyan.

Hate me and you'll die.

Iyan ang lagi kong sinasabi sa mga kasama ko sa Morreale Family.
Morreale Family is my group. Kasangga sa lahat ng kalokohan, kasama sa katangahan, kasapi pagdating sa kabaliwan at higit sa lahat ay kapamilya pagdating sa seryosong usapan.

Hindi kami fraternity or whatever. Rather, we are a family bonded together.

"Ekang! Pinapatawag daw ako ng dean niyo but I can't see any reason for me to go there. Why is that?" tanong sa akin ni Mommy Lorene.

"I don't know," sagot ko rito.

"Alam mong masyado na kaming busy ng daddy mo sa kompanya. Kahit sana ang pagiging mabuting estudyante na lang ang ibigay mo sa amin, ayos na sa amin iyon," litanya ni Mommy.

"Then why are you telling nonsense words if you don't know the real reason why the dean's calling you after all?" walang emosyon kong sagot.

Hindi na nakapagsalita si Mommy kaya umalis na ako sa sala at umakyat na sa kwarto ko. My room has a vivid color— royal blue, and it's actually full of blue stuff. I do love this color that's why my room is blue.

After my mom told me those nonsense words, my whole day became very peaceful. Hindi na rin ako nag-abalang maghapunan at humiga na lang hanggang sa mag-ring ang phone ko. I got my phone from the bedside table and answered the call.

"Hello?" I was suddenly stunned when I heard my ex-boyfriend speak.

I ended the call real quick because I don't want to have any connection with him anymore. I blocked his number on my contact list.

Now, I can sleep peacefully.

I may forget the past but I can't easily forgive. After what happened, I think this is the worst story I ever read.