Cheska's Note [SOON TO BE PUBLISHED]

C H A P T E R 1

Kasalukuyan akong nasa school at walang emosyong tinitingnan ang mga estudyanteng halos hindi magkandaugaga kakalakad na akala mo'y mahuhuli sa klase nila. Ang pagkakaalam ko sa schedule ng school na ito ay two o' clock ng hapon pa ang second session pero alas-dose pa lang naman.

"Cheska!" A girl called out my name but I didn't mind her.

"Cheska! I need your help," she said. It was Jane Claire, my friend.

"What?" I asked in a bored tone.

"Si Jan-jan kasi, e. Mahal ko siya pero ewan ko ba," she murmured.

"Hindi mo naman talaga intensyon na magmahal para sumaya, Jane. Nagmahal ka para maranasan ang pagiging tanga! You wanted to experience the pain, not the happiness," I told her bluntly.

She suddenly stopped babbling like a child when I blurted out that simple explanation.

"Now, if you love him truly, I really don't care," I continued.

"Pero malambing kasi siya," sabi nito.

"Ang mundo ay malupit, Jane. Hindi ito mabuti sa mga tao," I said quickly then continued, "Love doesn't define what you are doing yet it is what you normally do. Kung tanga ka at inaraw-araw mo pa, it's not my fault anymore. It's yours!" I declared in a grave tone.

Nanahimik siya sa mga sinabi ko at saka umiyak na akala mo'y batang inagawan ng candy sa kanto.

"Kung iiyak ka lang nang iiyak, please, get away from here!" inis na sabi ko.

Hindi ito nakaimik. Yes, I'm too harsh for telling that, yet I'm right. Mahirap makipaglaban sa mundo. Maliit man ito pero malaki ang kahaharapin mo. That's the reality of life.

Nanahimik siya, umiyak, at muling nagsalita.

"I suddenly realized that life is too unfair. Hindi lahat ng ginagawa at gagawin ay may saya dahil kadalasan ay sakit na ang nararamdaman tulad ng sa akin ngayon," Jane said.

"Ang mundo ay maliit pero malaki ang kahaharapin mo. Iyan ang pakatandaan mo." I responded in agreement with her.

Hindi ko naman sinisiraan ang lalaking iyon pero iyon naman kasi ang totoo. Love doesn't define happiness. Kailangang isipin ang lahat dahil mahirap mahulog sa alam mong sasaktan ka lang. Instead of loving, why don't you try finishing your studies first?

"Can I go now? I have a lot of things to do," I told her flatly.

Without waiting for her to respond, I walked silently along the corridor. From the side of my eye, I saw him but I was able to ignore his presence for a few minutes.

Dire-diretso ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa lampasan ko kung saan sila nakapwesto ng girlfriend niya. I don't know kung nakita nila ako pero hindi naman na ako dapat pang mabahala dahil wala na ang lahat sa akin.

"Cheska!" he called. Nagpakawala ako ng isang buntong-hininga saka ko siya hinarap.

"Yes?"

"Busy ka ba? Baka kasi pwede tayong lumabas," nakangiti niyang turan.
Why is he like that? He keeps pretending to be kind even if he is not?

"I'm busy."

Wala akong panahong makipaglokohan sa tulad niya. Kailangan ko pang pumunta sa dean's office dahil pinapupunta ang mga magulang ko for no apparent reason.

"Tulungan na kitang tapusin ang dapat mong gawin para makalabas tayo mamaya," he insisted in a cheerful tone.

"Kung tutulungan mo akong tapusin ito, baka hindi na tayo makalabas."
He frowned.

"Why?" tanong nito.

"Because I am trying to kill you inside my brain." Saka ko siya tinalikuran.
Naglakad akong muli at dumiretso sa dean's office. Nakita ko si Mommy na nakasuot ng kulay pink na dress paired with black stilettos.

"Now we can proceed with the discussion, Mrs. Arlton," Dean said. My Mom nodded in agreement.

"Cheska is on the list," sabi nito. Napakunot noo ako. What list?

"Ano pong list?" Mom asked.

"Cheska is included in our list of candidates for valedictorian  in this university. She has performed excellently in her academic subjects." Huminto ang oras ko at hindi na muli pang narinig ang ibang sinabi ni Dean.

Did I hear that correctly? I am running for Valedictorian?

Now, my dreams came true. Simple words turned into reality.

"Totoo ba ito?" rinig kong sabi ni Mommy.

"Yes, Mrs. Arlton. For the remaining weeks, we will update you para alam niyo na hindi nagloloko si Cheska sa unibersidad na pinasukan niya. Actually, her inspiration is the— what is it? Mor— what?" Then he suddenly gave me a meaningful look.

"Morreale Family," I answered immediately.

"What? Is that a fraternity?" Mom freaked out. OA talaga mag-react kahit kailan itong si Mommy.

"No," I said defensively saka ako tumayo. Umalis ako sa opisina, leaving my mother still shocked in amazement because of Dean's news. Nagpasya na lamang akong maglakad patungo sa classroom namin.

It's already 1:38 in the afternoon.

Anong gagawin ko sa classroom kung wala pa namang klase? Tutunganga lang ako roon, e.

Dahil malapit nang mag-time, I got a book from my bag and tried to read every page of it.

Hindi ako nagbabasa ng fictitious stories dahil alam kong wala itong kwenta kung hindi puro kalandian. But I have one writer whom I truly idolize, and that's Bob Ong because of his great literary works.

Kaya ayokong magbasa ng mga fictitious stories kasi iisa lang ang goal ng writer, e. Ang maging popular. Why don't they try to write to explore and hone their own talents instead of writing to be popular? Oo, nandoon ako sa nagsusulat sila dahil gusto nilang makilala sila pero kayabangan na kasi iyong pati ang reads at followers nila ay ipinagyayabang pa nila. Ganyan kasi ang nakikita ko sa mga writing sites tulad ng Wattpad at iyong confessions nila. Mayroon kasing isang lalaki raw na gustong pumasok sa mundo ng publikasyon at ipinagyabang ang reads at followers niya. Pangalan ba ng readers at followers niya ang isasalibro? Ano ba ang tunay na goal niya?

Masyado man akong nagiging harsh, I know na lahat ng ito'y totoo. Mayroon pang isang reader na por que gwapo ang writer, idol na niya. Where's the content there? Nasa mukha na ba? Hindi ba't nasa puso ng isang istorya ang content nito, na siyang produkto ng imahinasyon at kinokontrol ng isipan pero bakit ganoon?

Bakit ko ito sinasabi? Because our first subject is about literature. Some writers are great. Some writers are good in writing style but some of them are trying to catch the attention of readers using their faces or number of followers.