dave led us to our cell. dave left, and green eyes and i were left alone. she was sitting on her bed and i was sitting on mine. we were staring at each other, without saying anything. i was looking straight into her eyes, staring through her, into her soul. she was hurt. she was broken. she needed someone stable, someone who was capable of fixing her. could i do that? could i be her person? no, i couldn’t. i mean, i’m not even sure if i really like her for fuck’s sake! actually, i do, but i can’t tell her. i couldn’t hurt her like that (which was strange, because usually, i would want to hurt her as much as possible.) i didn’t lie when i told her she kept me sane.
green eyes: what are you thinking about?
me: about you of course.
green eyes smiled. her smile was breathtakingly beautiful. it made her skinny face look fuller, and for a second, it was like nothing ever knocked her down. she looked unbroken, strong, and happy in a way that i couldn’t even describe. it was quite a sight to see. i shouldn’t be wasting my time by trying to describe her, because by now i had found out there were no words that could describe her, no words that could describe how utterly beautiful she was to me.
green eyes: what about me?
me: has anyone ever tried to tell you how beautiful you are?
green eyes: no?
me: aha. i was trying to think of a way to describe you, and how beautiful you are to me, but i can’t quite find the words. i think i know why.
green eyes: why?
me: there are no words that describe you, or the way you make me feel, or the way i like you. there are no words that would make anyone understand you.
green eyes: why not?
me: you are too… perfect for words. you are too irresistible to be resisted. you are my forbidden fruit.
green eyes: your forbidden fruit?
me: i want you, but i can’t have you.
green eyes: why not? i mean, i can decide for myself who can have me and who not.
me: i’m too damaged. you need someone to heal you, and all i will do is breaking you down further. surround yourself with the right people, jessica.
green eyes: you never call me jessica.
me: green eyes is so long.
green eyes: you better come up with something else, jessica.
me: don’t you have a second name?
green eyes: i do. it’s ellen.
me: i prefer jessica.
green eyes: me too. do you have a second name?
me: yup. it’s kira. but i don’t like it.
green eyes: I prefer Jessica.
me: okay, jessica.
green eyes: jessica and jessica. we sound good together.
me: jessica and jessica sounds nice. i like it.
green eyes: can i give you something?
me: what do you wish to give me, oh fine lady?
green eyes: i want to give you my promise.
me: don’t promise me forever. don’t promise me always. don’t promise me anything you can’t keep.
green eyes: i want to promise you my love.
me: we barely know each other.
green eyes: don’t give me that shit. cinderella didn’t know her prince. sleeping beauty was kissed by a fucking stranger and then they got married.
me: those are fairytales. this is real.
green eyes: how do you know this is real? how are you so sure we exist? what if we aren’t persons, but just words in someone’s story, in someone’s fantasy?
me: i don’t know.
green eyes: i promise to love you when you need it.
me: you’re foolish to believe in true love.
green eyes: you’re foolish to not believe it.
me: you’re an idiot.
green eyes: no, you’re an idiot, idiot.
me: you’re… you’re insufferable!
green eyes: and you are the most special person i have ever met. i like you, jessica.
me: i like you, jessica.
me: can i give you something too?
green eyes: what do you want to give me?
me: get over here.
she did.
me: close your eyes.
she did.
me: kiss me.
she did.
her lips tasted sweet, a contrast to my personality. they tasted like strawberry, with a hint of mint. they were the greatest things my lips ever caressed, so soft, so full, and so enticing. i wished to kiss her forever, and to hold her forever, and to be forever lost in the depths of her emerald eyes. i was hyperaware of everything. the way her eyelashes tickled against my cheek as her eyes flickered shut again, the way her left hand grabbed mine and entwined our fingers at the same time as her right hand travelled up my arm, into my neck, and then up to my cheek which she cupped, stroking my cheekbone with her thumb. her other fingers dug slightly into my skull as she pulled my head closer to hers, her lips pressing harder against mine. god, it felt so good. it felt better than anyone could ever even try to describe. her right hand dropped down and grabbed my left hand, squeezing it before slowly pulling away. the kiss had been innocent, but meaningful to us both.
me: wow.
jessica: you can say that again.
me: wow.
jessica: you’re totally ruining the moment right now.
me: sorry.
jessica: it’s okay.
me: and what do we do now?
jessica: now, we lie down, and you place your hand on my waist and i place mine on yours and then we kiss again and then-
me: jessica. it’s only ten.
jessica: oh. in that case, we could make out some more and then do my plan tonight after dinner?
me: that sounds wonderful.
jessica: good. i’ll be looking forward to it.
me: me too, me too. can i ask you a question?
jessica: no. kiss me. now.
me: i wouldn’t mind at all.
