can we start all over again. #demily #criminalminds

the letter.

It's around 11.30 p.m. i am still watching some tv when i get a call from Derek. "Em, can we talk a bit? Savannah's not conscious and i can't bear the silence." "Yes of course, how is she?" i say. "Not good, she's been unconsious since a few hours. When i got back here after you arrived i told her that you're here and by the way she said i should thank you, she's very very greatful for you! But short after that, she lost consiousness and since then she's in a coma.." his tone sounds so heartbroken and sad, i can't help but feel the tears streaming down my face. "I'm so sorry Derek, i wish there's something i could do." i say, trying to find the right words. "You do so much already Emily! Thank you!" he replies. There's a moment of silence but then i decide to just talk to him, about anything that comes to my mind, so that he doesn't have to hear the silence. "Hey Derek, remember that one time when i was still working in London and you and Penelope came to visit me?" i say, "of course that was so much fun! I missed you so much after you left, we all did. Back then i never thought i would leave the BAU, because i always hoped you come back. And now you're back, and i'm not there anymore." Suddenly his voice got sadder. "Hey, c'mon now, you made this desicion for your family! That was a good choice alright? And you know what, if you wanna come back, we are always gonna welcome you with wide open arms, at any time! You always have us, you still belong to our family and so do Savannah and Hank!"

Derek and i talk for around an hour, when i just have to ask him about this box. "Derek, today when i cleaned around the house, first of all, i hope you're not angry at me that i cleaned your and Savannah's bedroom, but when i was looking for some clean sheets because i wanted to clean the ones that were used-" i wanted to talk further when he interrupts me with "you found something, didn't you?" "i found the box, but i didn't open it, i didn't even want to ask you, but i can't get it out of my head. I'm sorry." i say quietly. "Emily, there's no need to be sorry but i have alot to tell you, but it's nothing to talk over the phone, i'll come home tomorrow and then we talk, alright?" "Yes of course Derek. But just now that i wasn't sniffling around, i was just looking for clean sheets and i saw the box and i saw whats on it." i say. "It's alright Prentiss, it really is. I'm actually glad that you found it, i don't know if i have had the guts to tell you."

Derek and i talked for about two more hours last night and then we both decided to try and get some sleep. Right now i'm in the garden playing with Hank when my phone rings, i thought it's Derek but it's Rossi.
"Hello Rossi?" i say after picking the phone up. "Emily hey! I just wanted to see how things are going?" "Well, there's alot happening here and Derek is at the edge of collapsing i can't really tell you more yet and i don't know when i'm coming back." i tell him. "Well alright, call me if there's anything we can do, alright?"

I just put Hank to his afternoonsleep when my phone rings. "Derek" i say "Emily can you come to the hospital? Please! My neighbour Julia is on her way to watch over Hank." he says with a tone in his voice that makes me cringe. "Alright, i'll be on my way as soon as she's here."

When Julia arrives, i leave to go to the hospital.
"Hello, which room is Savannah-" i ask the lady at the front desk when i hear Dereks voice "Emily" i turn around and see Derek, he looks exhausted, heartbroken and has tears in his eyes. I run to him and give him a thight hug. "She's gone." He whines, i take a deep breathe as i feel him collapsing in my arms. I hold him up, kiss his forehead and tell him how sorry i am. After a while we go up to where her room is. She's still there, the nurses prepared her and they did a great job. She looks like she's sleeping, she looks so relaxed and at peace.
After a while Derek says:"Let's go out of here, i can't bear it anymore." he gives her one last kiss on her forehead, tells her his final goodbyes and that he loves her and then i tell her goodbye as well. We leave the room and tell the nurses that we're going. They all tell Derek their final condolences and after that, we leave.