with your chin in the palm of your hand, you stared at your professor as a thread of probably important words that felt irrelevant to your eardrums continued to fall from his mouth, with hand gestures supporting his lecture. your eyes were set on him, but your mind seemed to drift somewhere else no matter how hard you try to focus.
the line of words you once wrote across your notepad came to a stop as you released your pen, the memories of earlier still lingering in your head. you shook off your thoughts multiple times, trying your best to listen to whatever facts he was giving but your head refuses to give him your ears.
you could still feel baekhyun's soft touch against the back of your hand, forming tiny circles with his thumb as he released the words that wouldn't leave your mind no matter how hard you try to divert your attention.
"i'll never leave you or even push you away, let that be my promise to you. do you trust me?"
his eyes bore into yours and he could clearly see through your irises as clear as day. you were never one to express your emotions but somehow he could read you at the mere sight of your eyes, and you knew you could too. his eyes were a darker shade of brown and you could feel the seriousness not only in them but in his voice as well.
his expression showed that he was actually concerned and you appreciated that a whole lot. you hated sympathy, and he wasn't giving you any of that, he genuinely cared for you and you loved that.
trust to you is a very complex word, that needs to be taken seriously regardless of the situation given, and you didn't know if you could give that to him just yet. yes, he was nothing but kind to you, offering you the biggest of help but you still can't help but feel reluctant towards every little thing. through your past experiences, especially your past relationships, you tend to give away your trust easily and it only resulted in heartbreak after another, up until you grew a hidden fear of that five-letter word.
you broke your long contact with him as he formed circles against the back of your hands once again, his eyes softened at your reaction, and immediately understood why. he knew what stood behind your gazes and he couldn't at all blame you for it. he could tell you've been in so many experiences regarding trust and your issues for it only grew.
"i know you need time," he sighed and your eyes glued to both of your hands.
"but just know that i meant the words i said," a smile slowly crept up his face as you nodded, your lips curling up as well.
the memory of what happened kept replaying in your mind and you could almost picture the sincere look on his face.
you were pulled back into reality when you noticed the hall getting noisy as your head turned around to figure out what the fuss was about. everyone around you was pointing towards each other, and you figured out that the professor might've discussed a partner project your mind was too busy to hear.
your eyes wandered around to see if anyone would pick you as a partner but no one seemed to turn their head in your direction. you remained silent as bodies rushed past you to sit with their chosen partners, a sigh leaving your lips.
you were used to this constant aloofness that you weren't at all bothered that much anymore. partner-projects planned by your professors would always end up with you doing it all by yourself because no one seemed to be interested to work with you.
