Testing My Feelings

Chapter 8

I spent most of my free block staring at the yellowed, cracked, white brick walls of the commons area. I just sat and stared at the wall, thinking. I was just thinking about what happed with Connor in the morning. Something seemed to be gnawing away at me but I couldnt find it or what it was gnawing at. After an hour of staring at a wall, the bell rang.

With that I headed to my next class, English, one of my classes with Joshua. The classroom, H331, was on the third floor. The room was located at the very end of the long H hallway. When I got there many people in my class were already there, but, they were not in the classroom. The door was locked. Ms. Caleway was never late. We all sat outside the classroom waiting for her to arrive. As the 5 minutes time between classes ticked away and the rest of my class had arrived, Ms. Caleway was nowhere to be seen. The late bell rang, with no one else in the hall except us. Several of my classmates were getting excited. Our school has this rule. If your teacher doesnt show up within ten minutes of the late bell ringing, then you get a free block that period. After those dreaded ten minutes, those classmates wishes had come true, Ms. Caleway didnt show.

I went to find Connor. He had his free block this period. Usually you cant have both a study hall and a free block during the same semester, however, the office screwed up Connors schedule and he ended up with a study hall and free block. Connor usually hung out in the rec room. Its basically this room with TVs, couches, and chairs in it for relaxing. Students are only allowed in it during a free block. Today is different though. Connors free block was right before lunch, which means he was allowed to leave the school for lunch. Hopefully, Connor hadnt left yet.

I ran down Stairwell 4, the closes stairwell to my English classroom. When I got to the first floor, I flung open the door and sprinted out, hoping to catch Connor before he left. As I turned the corner, I saw a shadowy figure on the ground, but it was too late. I ran straight into someone and we both went flying into the ground, with me landing on top of the poor person that I trampled.

WHAT THE HELL! WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING! My victim screamed out to me, dazed and confused.

The person looked up at me, as I was still lying on top of the poor person. It was a boy.

Oh. Its just you Andrew, the boy said to me in a much more relaxed tone.

It was Connor. I looked up at him.

Oh hey Connor, I was trying to catch you, I explained to him.

He just looked down at me and smiled. I was getting the strange feeling from earlier but I just smiled back at him.

III wanted to know if you wanted to go to Panera for lunch with me. Ms. Caleway didnt show up to class for some reason so I have a free block now, I nervously said to him.

I couldnt understand why I was so nervous. Ive known Connor for years. We tell each other everything. Something was not right. He lied about skipping class. He was hiding something from me and he lied to me, which he never does.

Yea dude. Ill go to Panera with you, he answered.

Alright, lets go then.

The two of us got up off the floor and headed to the entrance of the school. When we got there, we scanned our IDs and strolled to the sidewalk. Panera was only like a 15 minute walk from the school. Connor didnt say much though. They only time he said anything was when I asked him if he was okay.

Connor? Are you alright? Youve been acting weird lately. I asked Connor.

Um. Yea. Im fine. I am just not feeling well. I have a headache, he answered.

Alright. If you say so.

When we got to Panera it was pretty busy. I went and found the two of us a place to sit. It was at one of those booths for couples, that one person sits on each side. I had given Connor my debit card and told him to go order the food. I always got the same this so he knew what to get me. I always got a bowl of chicken noodle soup a side of chips and bread and a large soda. I told Connor he could order whatever he wanted.

He came back to the booth with our pager and sat down across from me on the other side of the booth. A few moments later, a worker brought over our food. Connor had ended up ordering the same thing I got. He didnt say anything. He just sat and ate his food. I took out my phone and texted Josh about Saturday since Connor didnt seem to want to talk. My hands were greasy from my food and I ended up dropping my phone on the floor. Connor reacted almost immediately, as if he was waiting for something like this to happen. He swooped down and picked up my phone.

Here you go Andrew, he said to me, looking right into my eyes.

Thanks Connor, I said to him uneasily.

He just sat there looking at me nervously as I continued to eat my food. After a minute or so I felt something was up. I stopped eating and looked up at Connor.

What is it Connor? Is something wrong? I asked him.

He leaned in closer to me and closed his eyes. I was shocked as what he started doing. He started kissing me. I was absolutely caught off guard shocked. I just sat there with a surprised look on my face, while he just kissed me. I didnt even try to stop him or fight him. I just let it happen. I was too surprised and stunned to move. When he finished, he leaned back and opened his eyes to see my stunned look. Suddenly he face turned whiter than a ghost and became filled with regret and disappointment.

AndrewI...IIIIm so sorry, he frantically said to me as he gathered up his things and ran off.

Connor! Wait! Dont Go! I called out to him, but it was too late.

He was already gone.

I heard my phone buzz. It was Josh. I looked down at my phone and it was a message from him. He wanted to go to my soccer game on Saturday. I looked back up to see the mess that Connor left for me to clean up only to find Joshua sitting across from me.