Everything Will Be Okay (Phan)

Chapter 13: Bullies

Everyone has an experience with bullying, whether they were bullied, they were the bully, or knew someone who was. Bullying has had an impact on almost everyone's life. You can encounter bullies almost everywhere: at school, work, on your street. And sometimes even at home.

I sat in English, not paying attention to whatever Shakespeare play we were studying - I think it was A Midsummer NIght's Dream - instead, thinking about Dan. The scene from earlier that morning replayed in my head until it was warped, Dan's father becoming a menacing ogre and Dan a defenceless child in my mind's eye. I felt tears start to prick my eyelids and I quickly shot my hand in the air, muttering something about feeling ill and going to see the nurse before collecting my belongings and exiting the classroom. I could feel Alex's eyes following me - he was the only one of the bullies smart enough to be in Advanced English, the rest of them still unsure the difference between a noun and a pronoun.

When I emerged from the classroom, I was unsure where I was going to go, why I'd even left in the first place. I dithered in the corridor for a few seconds before marching in the direction of the nurse's office - I had to at least try to make it look like I wasn't lying to my teacher. But as soon as I rounded the corner I headed in the direction of the exit, blood pumping so loud I could hear it, I knew where I was going.

It seemed I was there in a matter of minutes, emerging from the alleyway and glancing towards the house I now knew was Dan's. Suddenly nerves flooded my entire body. What the hell was I doing here? What had I hoped to achieve by coming here?

Just as I decided to leave, I heard a voice behind me.

"Tut, tut, skipping class." Alex. He'd followed me. I turned slowly to face him.

"You're just as bad as me." The words left my mouth before I'd had a chance to think about what I was saying. Bad choice of words. It seemed to spark something inside him, anger him, as if I'd awoken some terrible beast.

"I will never be as bad as you," he spat at me, "you're a disgusting faggot. What are you doing here, Lester? Run away to meet your boyfriend?" 

"I don't have a boyfriend." I whispered, so quietly I had to repeat myself.

"Do I hear wistfulness in that sad little drawl of yours?" He started walking towards me, forcing me to back into a wall. "Do you want a boyfriend, Lester? Or a fuck buddy?" With the words 'fuck buddy' he pressed his body against mine, crushing me between him and the brick wall. He pressed his crotch to mine. He was hard. He locked his eyes on mine, our faces only inches away. He had brown eyes, like Dan, but Alex's were cold, lacking emotion, cruel, not the soft, sweetness of Dan's. I was the first to break eye contact, looking down, as if the cracked pavement was the most interesting thing in the world. This was the wrong move. Almost as soon as I looked away, the bully slammed a hand to my neck, forcing me to look up again and cutting off my airways.

"How do you feel about having a fuck buddy, Lester?" he whispered, so close to my ear his breath tickled and made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. But this was no kind whisper, instead, it was menacing, filled with hatred and poison.

"No, thank you!" I yelled, catching even myself by surprise as I pushed Alex from me, causing him to slam into the wall opposite. In the split second he was picking himself up I made a run for it, but he was quicker than me, grabbed my shoulder and spun me around before punching me in the face and knocking me to the ground. I prepared myself for the usual beating, being kicked and spat on, but it didn't come. After a few minutes, I felt safe enough to lift my head from the pavement and look around, convinced he was hiding, waiting for me to get up so he could knock me down again. But he was nowhere to be seen. So I picked myself up, retrieved my bag with a shaky hand and started off in the direction of school, thinking I should really try and go to a whole day of lessons sometime.