Dear Pup

Dear Julian,

I want to tell you that I don't miss you. I want to tell you that I don't care anymore. Maybe I even want to tell you that I've moved on. But I can't. I don't know who hurt who in this, probably me, but I do know I ended up severely wounded. Sometimes when I feel like I can't breathe, I just imagine your presence and wait for you to tell me it's just a dream and that I'll wake up in your arms. But after waiting for about a minute, I realize I won't hear that soothing sound of your voice. If this is a dream, then it's a nightmare. We've all heard Ponyboy. I must've known going into this it was too good to last. And it was. Hope is something intangible that desperate people rely on when they're facing failure and want to imagine another way out. I tried having hope for the longest time. I don't know where you are, or if I'll ever see you again. I don't even know how I'm supposed to get this to you. A part of me hopes you never do see it. Then I wouldn't have to feel the pain of you knowing I feel this way and still not coming back. I'm sorry for everything and hope you know that I'm exactly where you left me. Crying on the floor.

Sincerely, Pup

Dear Pup, I love you.

Love, Julian